


Follow Me To Oblivion.

by Liberteaaxx



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Harry, Casual Louis, Celebrity Life, Drug Use, Harry has a love for poems, Harry is Confused, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, It takes time, It's Hard and Nobody Understands, Louis cares, Louis wants to fix Harry, M/M, Misunderstood, Real life isn’t like a rom-com, Recreational Drug Use, Rockstar Harry, Sex, Some Fluff, Top Louis, Two completely different worlds collide, a lot of arguments, anger and hurt, figuring life out, homophobia referenced
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 01:31:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20592443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liberteaaxx/pseuds/Liberteaaxx
Summary: The one that’s real. The one where success is hard, showbiz is cruel and Harry loses his way. He uses, abuses and hurts people - everyone knew this, except Louis Tomlinson. Who wished he never got involved in the first place.Or,In a world where Harry’s the main character of his own shitty life, he needs to take a stand and figure things out. He didn’t ask for anyone to get involved, until Louis does and he does everything he can to push him away.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m back again! 
> 
> I’ve decided that I really enjoy writing Louis and Harry differently to how we know them. 
> 
> This fic was inspired by multiple late nights reading, listening to a playlist on Apple Music that was borderline depressing. 
> 
> I have referenced heavy Alcohol usage and a fair few references to drug use. It’s not exactly to the point where it’s addiction, I’ve been around people who use drugs such as cocain every weekend just to keep going. I’ve been on weekends when all we’ve done is drink from Friday to Monday and I wouldn’t say that’s addiction, it’s abuse, sure but not to an extent where it’s worrying. So I’ve tried to write this into this story - it’s in no way reflective of the boys we love, in fact, far from. 
> 
> But who knows! 
> 
> They’re grown up lads who most likely have done some of the things referenced in this story. But, they’re allowed to so don’t get salty. 
> 
> This story was so much fun to write compared to my last where it was full of fluff and love and will they won’t they. It’s a bit deeper. Bit more realistic in the world we’re living in. 
> 
> So, enjoy! 
> 
> Leave comments, let me know what you love, what you hate, what you think is shit. Or tweet me @text_larry where I’m usually crying over Harry existing.

It was mid September, it was cold. Actually, it was fucking freezing and Harry had been sat in the exact same chair for at least four hours now, answering the same questions over and over, giving the same boring and bland answers while wanting to be anywhere but there. 

That had been his life for the past week, dragged from pillar to post while he spoke about the same shit. Interviews were quite easily the worst part of his career but his management seemed to think they were pivotal to his career - he disagreed. 

The joys of releasing an album was the promo, months of it, sat with a bunch of different idiot interviewers with their unoriginal questions while Harry humoured them. All he wanted was to release music, get the tour out of the way and get the next one sorted. 

It was a viscous cycle. He never saw this coming when decided he wanted this life - what he actually expected was to sing his little heart out and do it for the rest of his life. 

He didn’t expect to be absolutely fucking knackered and drained by the age of 23. 

“Harry, you could at least pretend you’re happy to be here” 

Harry glanced up at his publicist, sat with her sunglasses perched on her nose in the corner of the small white washed room. Ridiculous - Harry was supposed to be the diva and yet here she was, sat in smack bang the middle of winter with sunglasses over her eyes. 

“Why the fuck are you wearing those? It’s dark outside. Is there any need?” 

She pushed them back to cover her eyes. “The lights give me a headache. Look pretty and do what you’re paid for, honey.” 

Harry rolled his eyes, glancing back at the interviewer who was frantically looking over his mountain of notes he had on his lap. It looked like the poor kid had spent hours on researching Harry’s entire life by the looks of it, he’s pretty sure he saw his first schools name on one of those pages. 

It irritated him. “Are you actually going to ask me anything?” He spat. “I actually have a life you know and I don’t fancy spending my night watching you have a breakdown over this.” 

“I’m... I’m sorry, I’m just, I’m new to this.” 

Harry snorted. “No shit. Hurry up, yeah?” 

“Don’t act the diva Harry, it doesn’t suit you.” His publicist chimed in, once again. 

“Keep your shitty opinions to yourself Karen.” He fired back. “We’ve been at this for hours. Can I fucking go home?” 

“Do what you’re paid for. Suck it up.” 

That was pretty much his life. Doing exactly that - what he was paid for. 

“What was your inspiration?” 

Harry quite literally groaned at that point. 

It was Thursday when he was finally out of interviews and was on his way for a pre-tour meeting to discuss the next year, he had been cooped up in small rooms and dimly lit studios for months and the thought of finally getting into the good part was more than exciting. 

He was huddled up at the back of the car with his friend Niall, who always somehow managed to worm his way into Harry’s ventures. His excuse always being “I let you leave me to be a rockstar, I supported you, now you have to support me.” 

It was kind of true. After all, while Harry played shitty dirty pubs back in their home town trying to breakout, Niall was always by his side, shouting his side and encouraging him to keep going - to some degree, Harry thanked Niall for his help. But at the same time, he blamed him for the life he had. Which at least 80% of the time, he really disliked. 

It was bizarre - stardom. When you’re young, it’s highlighted as the life, the one everyone should aspire for and wish for. The money, the fame, the friends, the life, it was all so dreamy. Harry wanted it since he was in nappies, singing his little heart out to his mum’s old records, wishing to be just like Freddie Mercury, on stage, singing for the world! 

The most enjoyable part of the four years that Harry had been in the lime light was the moment he signed his contract, that was the last time he felt a feeling so strong. He thought he was signing onto the best life he could ask for, really, he did. Except, it wasn’t. 

He had spent four years living his life for everyone but himself and at this point, he was used to it. He knew he had to bigger and better every year, to be the best at what he did, which to some degree he already was. 

Multi platinum award winner, number one singles globally, sold out tours in seconds, fifty million followers on Twitter, man of the year, grammy’s, he was the poster boy for winning in life. 

And yet, there was always more to achieve. 

It was tiring. He could barely cope and most of the time, the only way he could cope was by drinking into abyss, much like he was now. 

“It’s fucking ten in the morning, H. Is the Jack Daniels really necessary?” 

Harry peered at Niall beneath his sunglasses, taking a sip from his glass and nodded. “Yeah, I think it kinda is.” 

“You’re the worst. Look at you! I remember when you used to dress like my Nan, now look at you, some sort of disgusting rockstar.” 

“Disgusting rockstar?” Harry frowned. “What even is that?” 

“You. You’re dressed in a fur coat with leather jeans Harry” 

“Don’t see your point.” 

Niall shook his head, a fond smile escaping, he sat back in his seat with a sigh “Fourth tour, that’s come around quick, innit?” 

Harry nodded. His life had been a whirlwind, four years of complete madness and a lot of the time he was either too fucked up to remember a lot of it. 

“What’s today about?” Niall quizzed. 

“Not a fucking clue.” He shrugged. “Tour shit” 

“I remember when you were excited about this sort of thing. Now you’re like this... boring robot, who’s only setting is a fucking bore” 

“Great words there mate. Proud of you.” 

“You were nice once too” 

“You were less of a moaning myrtle too” 

“Touché. Well, you can’t blame me pal. I work in a fucking shop selling cd’s, which buy the way, no one even buys anymore. And you’re off being a fucking legend and couldn’t be less of a gloomy prick.” 

“Rude” Harry noted, necking the drink. “I offered to give you money so you didn’t have to work anymore.” 

“I declined, happily.” 

“Don’t know why” Harry strained as he reached for the bottle of Jack. 

Niall ignored him. “Well, after all this is done today do you wanna come back to Chesh and meet up with the lads? Have a few pints and that? We’re going pub.” 

“Can’t” Harry refused, filling his glass with shaky hands from the reckless driving. “Got a party. Bunch of... y’know, celebs” 

“You’ll choose a shite celeb party over a good old fashioned night in the pub?” 

“Better alcohol, better music and better drugs.” 

“You’re literally a walking stereotype” Niall gagged. “I hate you.” 

“I love you too sweetie.” 

Niall continued to lecture Harry, like he always did. Not that it ever worked, Harry chose against listening to him, he talked far too much sense for him to deal with. 

He continued his lectures the entire drive, once they left the car, while they walked into Sony’s head offices and while they entered the lift. Harry made several mental notes not to invite Niall anywhere, ever again. 

The lift lunges open onto the fifth floor, the floor Harry always found himself on - mainly for damage control meetings when he had been out the night before and put himself into at least four compromising positions. 

“Harry! My boy!” Someone greeted from across the room, there was multiple men standing around in bland suits. 

Harry nodded, swaying away from the hug that he was so clearly attempting. “Shall we get this fucking done with? Shit to do” 

The man nodded, ushering Harry into the same direction they always went - into the main board room, where he would inevitably find most of his team, crew and band sat waiting for him. A continuous cycle of the same shit. It was like dejavu. 

The door opened in front of him and he was faced with a full room, he didn’t bother greeting anyone, he kept his sunglasses firmly over his eyes and swayed his way to his normal seat, perched at the far end of the table. He likes to call it the ‘Kings seat’ but that’s because he’s a narcissistic bastard. 

“Thank you for joining us.” Someone said. 

Harry glanced behind him as he took his seat to find Niall standing awkwardly behind him. “Can someone get him a fucking chair? He’s not a dog” he demanded. 

It was embarrassing how quickly someone was to rush from their seat and offer their chair for his friend. Embarrassing and sad. 

“Don’t be a twat.” Niall whispered as he took a seat beside his best friend. “Try and be nice.” 

“Whatever.” Harry muttered. He sighed, reaching to finally move his sunglasses from his eyes and push them up into his hair. “Shall we get on with this then?” 

He finally looked up at the table and was faced with Craig, his tour manager. Who already quite frankly looked like he had enough of this charade and Harry couldn’t blame him at all. 

Craig nodded, reluctantly. “Here we are again. A year on! Ready to take on the next tour” He spoke to the table. “We’re gonna run through the itinerary for the tour, including extra time for rehearsals, run-throughs, jobs, y’know, the job lot.” 

Harry turned to Niall. “Do you think we could order pizza? I’m hungry.” 

“No, Harry.” Niall’s head dropped into his hands, defeated. He slowly pulled his hands from his face, eyes focused on him. “Pay attention mate.” 

“I’m ordering pizza.” Harry announced, reaching for his phone from his ridiculously large jacket. 

“He’s got a point.” Craig suddenly said, eyes boring onto Harry’s. “Could you possibly try and pay attention today? This is your tour after all, y’know. 

Harry’s eyes seemed to roll quite literally into the back of his head at that point. “You’re the most boring man I’ve met in my life Craig. It is  my tour you’re right, maybe you could try and incorporate that? Seeing as I get no fucking say anyway.” 

“We have three weeks Harry. Please just try and fucking turn up on time this time and actually do your job, I’d rather not spend a year spending unnecessary money on babysitters for you.” 

Harry snorted. “Shut up and do your job and I’ll do mine, yeah? Pretty sure, you’re kind of working for me. Don’t test me.” 

“Fuckin’ hell” Niall sighed. 

“Is he always this rude?” 

Harry’s eyes shot across the room to where the voice came from, he frowned, glancing at the unrecognisable face. Sat there, small, in between a bunch of men dressed in suits was a lad, dressed... Like a chav. 

“Are you lost?” Harry asked. 

A northern accent, a side swept fringe like some alternative scene kid, dressed in an Adidas tracksuit. It was like a poster boy for chavvy Britain. The bluest eyes though. Wasted on such a bland person. 

“Wow.” The stranger scoffed. He smirked, an actual smile appearing on his face as if any of this was comical. “Not quite mate.” 

Harry scowled, glancing to Craig. “Are we filming benefits Britain? Why is this chav in here?” 

“Chav.” The stranger belted a laugh. “Oh, this is funny.“ 

“I’m sorry, but who the fuck are you?” 

The stranger leant on the table, arms crossed as his body physically moved to face Harry. The sleeves of his tracksuit jacket pushing up to expose the tattoos that lay on his thin wrists, Harry glanced the boy up and down. 

“I’m Louis, Louis Tomlinson. Nice to meet ya’. I can tell that we’re going to be best of friends.” 

“ Lewis , darling, I think you’re in the wrong place .  This is the big boys room, if you take a left out of this building, there’s a community centre for under privileged kids.” 

“Wow. Under-privileged kids? Got a problem with people who have less money than you? You know at least 80% of your fans probably are facing money issues in today’s economy.” 

“That’s not what I’m saying, I don’t have a problem with people who have less money than me at all.” Harry quickly defended. 

“Sure sounds like it. Judging someone based on their appearance? Low of you, real low. I can see that fame went straight to your head.” 

“I... what?” He frowned, he glanced to Craig. “Can you tell me why the fuck I’m being victimised by a child right now?” 

“That child is older than you.” Craig pointed out, an obvious smirk across his face. “Meet Louis, this years crew manager. He’s in charge of making sure that you look good and things run smoothly, so if I were you, I’d be nice.” 

“He won’t have a job much longer, I’ll speak to Simon.” Harry huffed. 

“Ah, that’s too bad for you mate. Simon’s the one who tried me.” Louis stated. “Him and my dad have been friends since they were born, I think I’ve got a better chance at keeping a career than you.” 

“I won’t allow someone to talk to me like that.” Harry stated. “It’s my tour, my show, I’m the star. People are there to see me, not some fuckin’ dogs body fixing lights and shit. Without me, none of you would have a career. So I’d suggest you reconsider your options.” 

“It’s a done deal I’m afraid.” Craig dismissed him. “How about we stop the tantrums and get down to business yeah? Unless you want to leave and let the rest of us get on with this without you? Like we will the majority of the tour.” 

Harry took a deep breath, eyes darting to Louis who was sat with a disgusting smug smile across his face. He was far too bad tempered, hungover, slightly tipsy and tired to be dealing with this shit. He was about to fire back when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he exhaled glancing round at Niall who was shaking his head. 

“Just sit quiet mate.” He whispered. “Just listen, then we can go, yeah?” 

Harry soothed, he wanted to cause a riot. He always did, it was just part of him now. He had so much pent up anger and it just needed to come out, mostly on anyone who even spoke to him nowadays and he didn’t do well with anyone telling him what to do. But, Niall gave him a look and he knew it was in his best interest to fight this battle another day. 

He always got his own way - he was Harry fucking Styles, he could sit and deal with this now and have them both sacked in a week. 

“Can you just keep your shite comments to yourself then? The sooner you speak, the sooner I can go fucking home.” 

Craig nodded. Glancing down at his sheet of paper in front of him “Let’s start with tour, what’s on the agenda. We’re starting...” 

Harry tuned out instantly, glancing back to Louis as he sat back in his seat. Louis was sat, matching Harry’s stance as he sat back, legs spread out under the table, arms crossed. They were eyeing each other, if looks could kill, they would both be dead - Harry was almost impressed, at the fact this lad even had the balls to speak to him like that. 

But then again, he was a chav. They’re all mouth. Unless he wasn’t, it was a mystery. 

This was going to be a long year. 

It was a Monday when things kicked off. Harry had spent the two weeks leading up to his tour ignoring every call from his management and drinking his body into oblivion. Spending days and nights with a bunch of famous people who’s names he didn’t bother to learn, drinking and socialising and causing a name for himself. 

So when it came to actually working - he was facing a two week hangover and a hard come down. He was broken, at least he thought so. He knew that tonight, he had to perform to twenty thousand people in the O2 as he kicked off the first leg of his tour in his home country and he wasn’t even sure he could go on, at this point he was spread out on the sofa in his dressing room wishing the leather would swallow him whole. 

His face was in the leather, mouth ajar and eyes half closed as he focused on the one stain on the wall of his dressing room. His head was throbbing, his body was aching and the sound of Niall speaking was ruining his life. 

Niall was sat on the one seater, music playing from the radio while he spoke about some football match he had seen the day before. The last thing Harry needed today. 

“Niall” Harry croaked, his voice dry, his throat throbbing. “Please. I say this with love, but, shut the fuck up.” 

“I mean, rude.” Niall snorted, glancing at his best friend with a shake of his head. “I can’t believe you blew me off completely for two weeks so you could ruin your entire body.” 

“No lectures.” His voice broken. “Too tired.” 

“Talking of lectures. When was the last time you spoke to your mum?” 

Harry groaned, eyes closing completely. “I don’t know.” 

“She came to mine last week for a cuppa. Asked me when I’d seen you last, she says you’ve gone completely missing on her.” 

“Busy.” Was his excuse. “Next week.” 

“I hope you do. She worries mate.” 

“What the fuck did I do last night?” Harry groaned, avoiding it. He rolled his body slowly onto his back, exhaling loudly when he did. 

“According to the Mirror, you had drinks with friends. However, one of your lovely friends told me that you were snorting coke off the bar in some scabby bar, got into a fight, got kicked out and had to be dragged home by Paul.” 

Harry nodded slowly. “Seems about right.” 

“You’re a mess. You’re taking this rockstar title far too literal, you don’t have to ruin your life you know? You are allowed to have your own mind.” 

“Tell that to management.” Harry grumbled. “I also went for a drive yesterday and bought a horse.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ.” 

“Is that some sort of porn? Jesus fucking Christ? I’m kinda into it.” 

“Go to sleep.” 

So he did. Happily, he did not need to be told more than once. Only for ten minutes though, because he awoke hungry, ready to eat the entire menu from the stadium food stand. 

He loved touring, at least he used to - there was nothing more mesmerising than hearing thousands of people sing back the words that took months to write, word for word with such passion. He could release a song and within an hour, thousands of people would be singing it back to him. 

That was the only good part, really. The rest of it left him truly knackered, drained. He was kind of used to it now, being permanently tired. 

He was delving into a burger that Niall had found from somewhere, ketchup running down his chin as he sloppily ate it, his body too achy to even eat. He was spaced out as Chris ran through the evening with him. 

“Zayn Malik is supporting you, so he’ll go on at seven for a forty five minute slot. Fifteen minutes later, we want you on stage, where you’ll be on stage for at least two hours, okay?” Harry nodded, oblivious. “Don’t forget the plans, yeah? You’re to speak to the crowd, pretend you’re happy to be there.” 

“Kinda sad that he has to pretend.” Niall butted in, raiding a fair point. 

“Well, that’s how this works I’m afraid. Nothing makes him happy.” Craig raised another valid point. 

“I’ll do whatever.” Harry muttered, using the back of his hand to wipe the ketchup from his face. “I’m gonna need... somethin’ to wake me up though.” 

“Have an energy drink, a cold shower, go for a run, just don’t fucking touch anything illegal or any booze okay?” 

Harry sat back in his seat with a sigh, he crossed his arms over his chest. “Illegal? Me?” a false gasp escaping. “What do you take me for my dear Craig?” 

“I take you for a pain in my ass.” 

“Ditto.” Niall agreed. 

Craig closed his planner and leant on the chair sat opposite Harry. “Louis is going to come and watch you anyway. I know he won’t let you do anything stupid, so really, take a cold shower or something. You kinda look shit.” 

“I don’t need a fucking keeper.” Harry spat. 

“I’d beg to differ. We left you be for two weeks and what happened?” 

“He nearly got arrested, sniffed so much coke it’s a surprise he didn’t turn into a pile of dust and had so much damage control it was actually impressive?” Niall suggested. 

Craig nodded. “Well yeah, all of that. I think that proves a point doesn’t it?” 

“Not particularly.” Harry shook his head. “I’m a professional, you know” 

He scoffed at that, turned to look at Niall with a smile. “He’s funny, isn’t he?” He tapped the chair and pushed himself up. “Shower. Louis will be here in ten.” 

“Fuck off.” 

Harry watched as Craig walked out of the room, as soon as the door closed he let out a groan, his blood boiling. He shoved the plate from the table to the wall, watching as it shattered. 

“Fucking joke!” He jumped to his feet. “Honestly, what the fuck is my life? It’s a joke! I’m fucking twenty three, I’m not some child. What I do with my life is no fucking business of his, he can’t just control me and force people to babysit me! I don’t even need babysitting!” 

“That was a nice plate...” Niall drawled, eyes focused on the shattered pieces. “It’s pink.” 

“Why would they even ask Louis? That’s like asking for a fight! The guys a prick.” 

“You’ve met him once... Do you think you have any glue in here? I could put it back together like a jigsaw while you’re on stage.” 

“I’m a good judge of character. I know when someone is a prick or not, it’s in my nature.” 

“There’s some gorilla glue in the store cupboard, isn’t there?” Niall asked, ignoring Harry’s tantrum like he always did. “Remember that time I glued your hands together and you cried thinking that you were stuck forever? That was well funny.” 

“This is not the time.” Harry deadpanned, hand on his hip as he looked cluelessly at his best friend. “I need something” 

Niall sighed at that point. He couldn’t avoid it forever. “Don’t be a twat.” He said, watching as Harry frantically ran over to his bag. “That’s not going to help is it? A buzz that lasts half an hour and then you’ll be in this shit mood again. It’s a cycle” 

“It does what I need it to.” Harry stated, pulling the clear bag from the pocket. 

It’s not that he liked it, because he really didn’t. It burnt, it made him feel like shit and always left him with a sore throat the next day. Awful really, considering his career relied on his throat and vocal cords to work. It was a habit, something he was so used to. Everyone in the fucking industry did it and Harry thought that there must be a reason for it, maybe it would make everything easier. 

Niall refused to watch, he always did, he never saw much point of it. Harry wasn’t shocked to hear Niall groan when he snorted the white powder, the sound making him cringe. 

He threw his head up, pushing his curls from his face, a sudden rush washing over him. He was like a new person with in seconds, his eyes almost bulging form their sockets. He lifted his hand up to wipe at his nose and turned to Niall with a smile. 

“You’re disgusting.” Niall rolled his eyes, kicking his legs up onto the chair. “Go for a shower. Show time in two hours.” 

Harry spent his entire shower singing the lyrics to Shania Twain, I feel like a Woman much to Niall’s annoyance. He was stood in front of the mirror, humming along to the song that played in his head like a personal radio. He was towel drying his hair with one hand as his eyes raked along his body that reflected back at him, his hand dropped from his head, the towel falling to the floor. His eyes furrowed as he caught sight of his chest, bruises scaling over his ribs, red marks and scratches along his torso. 

The only thing that crossed his mind was that he was looking at his body, covered in all of these marks and bruises, yet, he couldn’t remember how any of them happened. His fingers traced over the bruises that fell on the edge of his ribs and he winced, he had been so out of it, he hadn’t even realised that this was why he was so achy. 

“Fuck.” He groaned, slowly lifting his arm back down. 

He sighed, leaning back against the cold wall, his head falling back. He often had these moments, where he just sat and wondered what the fuck he was doing with his life. He often needed a minute or two to reflect on everything, find his bearings and sort himself out. 

There were these split moments in his life where he wasn’t this big rockstar, pretending to be this person everyone made him to be and he was just Harry. The lad from Cheshire who’s only problem was whether or not he should order a takeaway for dinner. 

He missed that the most, the simplicity of it all. 

These moments were always short lived, much like this time. Here he was, eyes closed, taking in his life when he heard the Yorkshire accent blast in the room next door. 

“Right, where’s the diva?” 

He sighed, head dropping. His eyes slowly opened as he prepared himself, he took a deep breath and pulled the towel tighter around his torso. 

He opened the door and peered out to see Louis now sat beside Niall, legs kicked up on the table beside his. The blue eyed annoyance lifted his gaze into Harry’s direction, eyelashes batting against his cheek and smiled. 

“Ready for the show, rockstar?” 

“He’s in a bad mood today, he’s hungover.” Niall explained, eyes not leaving his phone. 

“No different to usual then?” 

“You don’t even know me.” Harry frowned, waltzing into the room towards the divider where his clothes hid behind. 

“Clearly not. But, from what I’ve seen, I think it’s fair to assume you’re a bit of an asshole.” 

Harry rolled his eyes, hiding behind the divider as he reached for any sort of comfy clothing. He wasn’t ready to put himself into anything spectacular just yet - he was feeling a bright pink suit. His head ached as he reached for his boxers from the floor, the cocaine barely lasting an hour, the after affects hitting him right where he didn’t want it. 

“Is there any alcohol in the fridge?” Harry asked, to anyone really as he pulled his boxers over his legs. “I need...” he paused, rubbing his temple. “A drink.” 

“There’s beer but that’s all you’re allowed.” Louis answered, Harry would have preferred Niall. “There’s only six in there but that doesn’t mean you have to drink them all.” 

“Niall, can you go and grab me a bottle?” 

Niall sighed, he heard it. Harry peered over the side of the divider, eyes focused on Niall. You could see the fight he was having with himself, whether he should or not but ultimately, he nodded. 

“No!” Louis said, attempting to grab Niall. “Don’t do it, he doesn’t need it.” 

“Sorry mate, it’s better for both of us if I go.” 

“Thanks babe.” Harry smiled, reaching back to grab a T-shirt from the floor. 

He heard the door to his dressing room close and he pulled the shirt over his head, he sighed, feeling dreadful. He walked out from behind the divider and was faced with Louis, he didn’t think it through that well, he was now stuck in a room with him alone. 

“You know, you can leave.” Harry said, dropping himself into the three seater sofa opposite. 

“I can’t.” 

“Embarrassing for you.“ Harry stated, leaning his head onto the back of his arm. 

“More embarrassing for you mate” 

“Hardly.” 

“You’re how old?” 

Harry frowned, tilting his head to look at him. “I’m twenty three.” 

“Okay, you’re twenty three and have to have someone watch you to make sure you don’t do anything fuckin’ stupid, that’s embarrassing.” 

“I’m too hungover to deal with your stupidity.” 

“Stupidity? Wow.” Louis snorted. 

Harry was still looking at him, eyes gazing over him. He was dressed in another tracksuit, it was ridiculous, he couldn’t fathom why anyone would willingly own even one of them and yet here he was, most likely with a wardrobe full. 

“You know, you’re a lot different to how they portray you.” 

“Yes, well, people are usually disappointed by me. Join the line darling.” 

Louis kicked his legs down at that point, lifting himself in his seat. He sat up, resting his head on his hand. “Does becoming a celebrity instantly mean you have to be an asshole?” 

“Afraid so.” Harry was too tired for this, he lay his head back, his neck straining. “It’s a world unlike yours, dressed in your tracksuits” 

“You’ve really got an issue with my appearance, haven’t you?” 

“Your fashion choices.” Harry corrected him. “It’s embarrassing. You’re older than me, no man over the age of 14 should be wearing tracksuits.” 

“Judgemental, rude, anger issues, entitled...” 

“What are you doing?” Harry frowned. 

“Listing all the ways to describe you.” 

“I don’t think you’re being paid to insult me. So why don’t you sit there quietly and watch me like you’re supposed to. You should feel privileged being in the same room.” 

“Like I said, entitled.” 

“You’re a crew manager. Why the fuck are you here? Shouldn’t you be doing something productive?” 

“And not have the opportunity to tell you you’re a dickhead? Absolutely not.” 

Harry groaned, rolling over on the sofa so that his back was to Louis. He heard the faint laugh behind him and chose to ignore it, he didn’t need to argue with idiots, he had nothing to prove - especially not to some self entitled nobody. 

The room was silent after that, only the sound of Harry’s breathing and the faint sound of whatever Louis’ was watching on his phone. It felt like hours, both sat quietly, Harry waiting for Louis to say something else - spark some sort of argument, disagreement or anything. But it never came, he did what he was supposed to be doing. 

Harry hated silence. 

When Niall came back in, with a bag in hand. Harry had never got up so quick in his life, reaching for the bottle of Gin that he had found. It took a mere few minutes for him to have a glass in hand, almost a smile on his face, as he necked it without a thought. 

This is what he did like - blocking it out. 

The show went well-ish. He had drank half the bottle before going on stage and had ordered someone to keep refilling his cup on stage so he didn’t have to stop - the stadium was full, thousands of people watching him sing, prance about on stage like an idiot and dance to his hearts content. They had paid so much money to come and watch him perform, yet, there he was, singing away yet slurring his words and stumbling when it came to speaking to them. He ignored the looks he got from the fair few girls at the front, he couldn’t pretend he was sober. 

And when the show came to an end and he belted the lyrics to Kiwi, he watched as the arena went dull, the lights went out, the screams erupted and that was it. The tour had started. 

He was rushed off the stage and to his dressing room, a couple of members of the crew having to guide him through the hall to help him refrain from falling at any given moment. He was chucked into his dressing room as if it was a chore and all he could do was giggle, falling in until he fell back onto the sofa he had been sat on previously. The first bottle of gin waiting for him on the coffee table he had left it on, he grinned, reaching for it. 

He hadn’t even noticed that Niall and Louis were exactly where he’d left them, when he did, he was half way through a swig from the bottle. He swallowed and smiled “boys!” 

“You’re wasted.” Niall observed. 

“And you’re Irish.” 

“Jesus Christ.” Louis said, standing with a sigh. “Come on, give me the bottle.” 

“Ah, no, no, no!” Harry turned away as Louis reaches his hand out. “I don’t think so pretty boy, not today.” 

“You have to leave this place without falling on your face, just give me the bottle Harry.” 

Harry snorted. “Niall, I think my dads here.” 

“You’ve got no chance when he’s like this.” Niall advised, leaning back. “He’ll drink that, then he’ll get back to the hotel, drink some more and then somehow end up at some party. Then do it all tomorrow. It’s routine.” 

“Fuckin’ hell pal, do you not think maybe you should be stopping him from doing this?” 

“What do you expect me to do? He gets what he wants, when he wants. Have you not realised this by now?” 

“And watching your best friend ruin his life seems like a better option than letting him have a tantrum for a little bit?” Louis challenged. “Are you sure you’re his friend?” 

“Hey!” Harry frowned, a hiccup escaping as he did. “That’s my best friend!” 

“Yeah? Well, I think your best friend should be helping you not encouraging you.” 

“I’m not sitting here getting lectured by someone who’s known Harry for five minutes.” Niall snapped. “Don’t waltz in here acting like you know what it’s been like.” 

“I’m just sayin’ that you should be helping him.” 

“I do! Every fucking day, I have been for years! It gets a bit tedious after a while.” 

“Why don’t you go home? Let me deal with him.” Louis said, dismissing Niall completely. 

Harry was far too gone, he was drunk. The affects of the cocaine he had secretly sniffed before going on stage was still in full effect, sending his head into a frantic buzz, his eyes scattering across the room. 

“Yeah, good idea. Why don’t you try and reason with him...” Niall’s voice was bitter. He stood to his feet ready to leave, he glanced at his best friend with a softer expression. “I’ll see you tomorrow H, okay?” 

“Okay babe!” Harry nodded, eyes still focused on the wall in front of him. 

He heard the door close and he glanced back to the sofa, seeing the empty seat, it was then he realised that Niall had left. Not really with it, he couldn’t focus on it, on anything. 

“Why don’t we get you home?” 

Harry frowned, glancing up at Louis who was evidently still here. “Why are you even here?” 

“It’s my job.” 

“Yeah well, the shows finished so you can, fuckery fuck off now, can’t you?” 

“Why are you like this?” Louis sighed. “You’re impossible. Like a walking, talking, cliche but ten times worse.” 

“Like what?” 

Louis sat down on the coffee table, only a few inches away from Harry. “Like this. You know, you don’t have to play the character just because it’s your life. Drinking and drugs, all of it, it’s fun in moderation but drinking just to get through the night? That’s shit.” 

“Why are you even lecturing me right now? You don’t know... You just don’t know me, okay?” Harry mumbled, head not comprehending with the words he wanted to say. “I’m not drinking to get through anything! I’m drinking ‘cause I wanna.” 

“Right. And the drugs?” 

“Fun.” He shrugged, taking another swig. Only this time, Louis managed to snatch it away. “You’re starting to become a massive pain in my arse.” 

“I’m going to take this away. You’re going to let Paul take you home and you’re going to sleep this off, then you’ll wake up tomorrow, come for the next show and feel better. Okay?”

“You’re so fuckin’ annoying!” Harry groaned. “Take it. I’m a grown man, I’ll buy more.” 

“You’re going home.” 

“I’ll have you sacked.” 

“Try me.” Louis stated, heading for the door. “Get me sacked, then get the next person sacked to and we’ll start something new, exciting and live our lives. And what will you do Harry? Nothing, fuck all, you’ll carry on living this fuckin’ pointless life until no one is around to care anymore. Get a grip.” 

“Piss off.”

“Good night Harry.” 

Harry hated him. Truly fucking hated him. He didn’t need a minder, he didn’t need to be told anything about his life that he didn’t already know and especially not from some fucking stranger who walked into his life uninvited. 

But, still, that didn’t stop him from falling asleep the moment the door closed


	2. X

It was a busy day - as it always was. Harry was sporting what he considered as the worst hangover of his life, he couldn’t remember going home but he woke up in his own bed this morning which was a revelation. He was used to waking up anywhere else but there. 

He had seen the few headlines ‘Harry escorted out of the stadium by keepers’, he was clearly drunk in the pictures but damage control worked their magic to ensure no fans were able to witness it - as always. 

He was in the O2, he was laying across the stage, sunglasses over his eyes as people rushed around him to ensure they were ready for the second night. Niall, Louis, Paul and craig were all sat together in the seats at the front of the stage - he wasn’t entirely sure why Niall was there but somehow he always managed to get himself involved, he really needed to actually start turning up to his actual job. 

“When do we go to LA?” Harry suddenly asked, breaking the group conversation beneath him. 

“A month.” Craig replied, shortly. 

“Ugh, so long.” He frowned, eyes fluttering beneath the glasses as he stared up at the lights above him. “Nick’s out there.” 

“Literally no one cares.” Niall chimed in. 

“Rude.” 

He sighed, rolling from his back onto his front so he could look at them all. He glanced at Louis who was sat beside Craig, he was in a grey tracksuit today. 

“I have a headache” 

Louis snorted. “You’re surprised? Probably has something to do with the amount of alcohol you drank” 

“No one asked for your input.” 

“No? Then who were you talking to then?” 

“Myself.” 

Louis rolled his eyes. “You’re an idiot.” 

Harry seemed to enjoy arguing with Louis, it was fun to have someone to bicker with every day - at least it made his days less dull. Made a change from strangers thinking he was perfect every time they met him. 

“Management called this morning, H. They’re not happy about damage control, again. You’ve really got to reign it in a bit.” Craig spoke, glancing up at him. “It’s yourself you’ve got to worry about. They won’t protect you forever.” 

“Boring conversation. What time is it?” 

“It’s midday.” 

“Great” He struggled as he pushed himself up onto his knees, feeling the physical strain on his torso. “I’m going.” 

“Where exactly?” 

Harry shrugged. “Out. Niall? You coming?” 

He shook his head “I can’t, I have work at 2.” 

“God, Why is my life so bland? Fine. I’m going shopping.” 

Craig frowned. “Without security? Don’t be a twat.” 

“I don’t need minders. I’m going” 

“Take Louis.” 

“Fine. Come Lewis.” 

With that, Harry was up on his feet and heading out the back towards the acts exit, he could hear Louis reluctantly following, rushed steps to catch up with him. 

He had no idea what he was doing or where he was going, but he needed to get away from the team, from the stadium, away from it all for a while. 

“Can you fucking slow down?” 

He ignored Louis as he barged the double doors open, revealing the crisp cold British air. He stepped out of the door and stopped, he inhaled, eyes closed as he took it all in. 

“Are you sniffing the air? What the fuck?” 

“If you’re going to be a kill joy, you can stay here.” Harry stated, grabbing his car keys from his pocket. 

“Where are you going?” Louis groaned. “Also, I hardly think you’re in any fit state to drive pal!” 

Harry waltzed over to his car that he clearly didn’t drive this morning, he wasn’t even sure how he got into the possession of his keys really. But he was sober enough to drive at least. He unlocked the doors and grabbed the drivers seat door, yanking it open, he glanced back at Louis who stood at the hood. 

“What are you fuckin’ doing? Get in the car.” Harry frowned, ducking into the seat. He sat and watched as Louis dragged himself to the passenger seat. The door opened and Louis sat himself beside him, making a big point of putting his seat belt on. “Well done.” 

“Just remember I don’t want to be here, Styles.” 

“Like I give a fuck. You just watch me like you’re supposed to and it’ll be fine.” 

It was only when Harry had been driving for about fifteen minutes that he decided what he wanted to do, which soon turned into a list of multiple things, all of which Louis would be subjected to. First, he was going to visit his friends house with Louis in tow. 

He drove into central London, eyes raking in the sight of the hounds of people that were rushing the streets. Louis sat quietly, texting away on his phone proving the point that he really didn’t want to be here. Harry didn’t care. Not really. 

They ended up in a small one bed flat in Central London, visiting his friend Ed. They’d met at a party one night, they saw each other a couple times a year and that was about it. But, Harry counted him as a friend, not that you could really have many of those in his life. 

Louis sat awkwardly in the corner of Ed’s small living room, sat on a dining table chair, watching the two of them catch up. 

“How long are you in the UK?” 

“A week.” Harry shrugged, falling back onto the sofa. “Can’t wait to get fucking out.” 

“Ah, what happened to the boy I met? Loved the UK!” 

“Once you have a taste for anywhere but home, it’s impossible to love it.” 

“Philosophical. You on stage tonight?” 

“Sadly.” 

“You’re so boring nowadays, H. Having a convo is like trying to get water from a stone.” 

Harry frowned. “I’m just always bored. That’s why I’m here, I couldn’t sit in that fucking stadium all day.” 

“And, is that why there’s a lad sat in my living room?” Ed asked, smiling at Louis. 

“Crew manager. Not quite taking on that title though, instead, he’s my babysitter. Make sure I don’t kill myself or some shit.” 

Ed laughed. “Jesus, remember when you wouldn’t dare even speak out of line? Scared of everything and everyone? Now look at you, a professional little shit.” 

“Someone gets it.” Louis snorted. 

“Yeah well, can you blame me?” 

Ed’s smile softened. “I know mate. It’ll get easier, think maybe you’re going through a phase.” 

“A phase? I’ve been unhappy for years, I hardly think that suffices as a phase.” 

Ed reached a hand out and placed it on Harry’s thigh, he tapped it a few times. “When’s the contract over?” 

Harry shrugged. “Pretty sure I’ve still got years left.” 

Ed sighed, dropping his head a little. He had a look in his eyes like he always did, something of pity. And when Harry looked past him to glance at Louis, he found a different kind of look - like he was questioning. You could see the confusion in his eyes. Harry tilted his head, a short frown forming almost to ask ‘what?’

“Well, you’ll just have to try and enjoy it.” 

“You said that last year” Harry drawled, pulling his gaze from Louis. 

They stayed at Ed’s for an hour before Harry was ready to leave, he decided he really did want to go shopping, he saw no point in having all this money if he couldn’t spend it on everything ridiculous. 

He drove himself and Louis back through the busy streets, stopping every minute due to traffic. Harry could feel himself becoming jittery, his leg bouncing up and down every time they came to a stand still. 

“Are you addicted?” 

Harry turned to Louis, his eyes furrowing. “What?” 

“To the drink, drugs, y’know. Are you addicted?” 

“No.” He quickly answered. “I don’t need them.” 

“Then why do you make such a big fuss when you don’t have them?” 

“Didn’t realise this was a therapy session. Because, Lewis, I may not be addicted but that shit helps me, keeps me fuckin’ sane.” 

Louis frowned. “That doesn’t make sense.” 

“Nothing does.” 

Louis didn’t push any further. He and Harry parked up on Old Bond Street, the nicest Gucci shop in London. Harry nearly laughed, nearly, at the expression that came from Louis - it’s like he had never foot in any other shop than JD Sports or fucking Nike and Adidas in his entire life. He looked almost disgusted as they were greeted on arrival, Louis frowned at the workers as they rushed around Harry like he was god himself. 

“I want whatever’s new to this collection.” 

That’s all Harry had to say, they were both given a glass of champagne and the staff rushed around to find anything and everything to keep Harry happy. 

“Fuckin’ hell.” Louis groaned. “What the fuck is your life?” 

“I don’t know. If you find out, let me know.” 

“It’s like you’re royalty, do they not know how much of a fucking idiot you are?” 

Harry shrugged. “Probably not. But I’m spending money that’s all they care about.” 

They only spoke in short conversations, the entire day, Louis would make a quick ‘fuck sake’ comment every so often, he scalded Harry with his eyes when he saw the total of his shopping spree and chose against commenting when Harry then went to selfridges and spent thousands on alcohol, a bunch of stupidly priced bottles of spirits, like the label gave it reason to be more than a thousand per bottle. 

Then Harry was hungry and that seemed to be the only thing that mattered, so much so, that he ignored Louis’ protests completely and drove them straight to some backend cafe in Camden. Not saying a word as he got out of the car and headed down the street, Louis barely having time to catch up with him. 

The amount of not so subtle pap’s they had seen today was on another level, Harry would ignore them completely as if they didn’t exist whereas he could see Louis behind him, uncomfortable around it all. 

They were about to head into the cafe when a young girl stepped out in front of Harry, wide-eyed and star struck. Harry pushed his sunglasses from his eyes onto his head and smiled. “Hey.” 

“Harry, oh my-“ She choked, the tears pouring across her cheeks. “I’m such a massive fan. I’m going to your show tonight, I just love you so much.” 

“Hey, Hey” Harry soothed, eyes soft as he held his arms out to give the girl a hug. “No need to cry. You’re coming to my show? That’s amazing!” 

“I’ve been a fan since you first started, I’ve been with you every step of the way. You’re my idol!” She said, while Harry’s heart dropped. 

Idol was a word that wasn’t thrown about lightly, it was a title that he most definitely didn’t consider himself. He was far from it. 

“Thank you so much love” He said, pulling back from the hug with a short smile. “Where are you sat tonight?” 

“I have floor tickets, so hopefully front row!” 

“Well, I’ll look for you tonight, okay?” 

“Yes please. Have an amazing day, I love you” 

“You too, sweetheart” He soothed, rubbing her arm as he swayed past her to the door. 

He inhaled as he pushed the door open, his heart racing ever so slightly. He head straight for the table on the corner, away from the window and out of sight. He sat back in the chair furthest away and sunk down, he grabbed the menu from the table and watched as Louis slowly walked his way over. 

He took a deep breath, consoling himself. 

“Can I have two coffees please?” Harry shouted, he added the please but it was more of a demand. 

“Well…” Louis drawled as he sat opposite. “That was an experience.” 

“What?” Harry spat. 

Louis tilted his head, leaning his arms on the table. “The way you were just then… You were so, kind?” 

“Your point?” 

“Shame you can’t be like that with everyone else.” 

“I don’t owe anyone my kindness.” 

“But that girl is different, why?” 

Harry frowned, dropping the menu. “I owe her everything, I owe every single one of my fans everything. They’re the reason I’m here, whether I like it or not, they’re the reason I even got given this chance so for that, they always deserve my kindness” 

“Right.” Louis nodded slowly. “Then there’s Ed?” 

“He’s my friend. You treat friends with kindness.” 

“Niall?” 

“He’s my best friend, it doesn’t count.” 

“You’re one fucked up guy, Harry.” 

And who was Harry to argue with that? 

They arrived back at the stadium at around 6, Harry had managed to drag Louis around for most of the day. Much to his annoyance - no one was surprised when Harry walked in with one of his expensive bottles of vodka in his hand, not bothering to greet any of them while Louis dragged himself behind. 

They walked into the crews room, Louis making a point of saying they had to let Craig know they were back. 

“Where have you been all day?” Craig asked, eyes frantic on the clock. 

“Don’t fuckin’ ask.” Louis warned, physically drained. 

“Where’s Niall?” Harry asked. 

“He said he’d be back for eight.” 

Harry nodded, glancing at the clock. He turned to Craig again. “I’m throwing a party in my dressing room.” 

“No you’re fucking not.” 

“Try and stop me, dipshit.” Harry stated, pulling his phone from his pocket. 

He doesn’t know where the idea came from but apparently that’s what he was doing now - so, instead of being rational, he sent a group text to everyone except his mum, dad and sister on his phone and invited them all along. 

Dressing room antics. O2 arena. Come! H. 

So that’s he did - he did what he had to which was survive another night on stage while being moderately tipsy and then head back to his dressing room to find it full to the brim, filled with famous faces he had barely spoken to, all of which cheered as he walked out the back in his ridiculous all in one purple suit. 

“Let’s get fucked!” 

Niall was there, of course, he was being moderately well behaved. Sat with Ed, discussing golf, much to Harry’s annoyance. Harry, on the other hand, was too busy taking as many shots as humanly possible and accepting and all advances for a line or two on his dressing room table. 

He knew that he could potentially be banned from returning to perform here, there was a strict ban on drugs in the arena, but it would be hard to stop - at least 80% of the people there had some sort of drug with them that night, not that Harry would touch the others. 

Within an hour of this show being over, he was truly fucked. He had kissed half a dozen people, shoving his tongue down anyone’s throat that would have it, a mix of lipstick and stubble across his chin. 

The music Niall had plugged into the speakers was playing across the room, while Harry grinded against anyone who was close. He was in the zone, that zone being ‘completely fucked’ of course. He was wilding, his favourite thing to do, there was strictly no phones when a bunch of celebrities met up which was ideal really - no one wants bad press, there were celebrities in Harry’s dressing room right now with a horrendous amount of drugs in their system considering they were the sweethearts of their trade. 

Which made Harry even more free - no damage control. Just him, existing. He was drunk, slightly high and lost in himself. 

He grinded against some random lad who he hadn’t bothered to introduce himself to when Niall came running over, grabbing Harry close. 

“Mate, Louis and Craig are here… So is management” 

Harry giggled. “What?” 

Niall rolled his eyes and turned Harry’s body in the direction of the doors, where he saw them stood and he couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Ed, music, down” Niall shouted above the crowd, Ed was quick to turn the music down low. A groan was heard, a chorus of sadness as the music stopped. 

“Ah, come on!” Harry whined. “Don’t let them ruin the fun!” 

“Alright, sorry everyone, the party is over. Harry’s got a show tomorrow.” 

“Fuck off!” Harry shouted through a laugh. 

It soon turned into a pout as a chorus of people began wishing him goodbye, all tapping him on the back, a few hugging him. He watched as one by one they all exited the small dressing room. 

Harry grabbed a half empty bottle of Sambuca from the side and dragged himself back onto his sofa, pushing a bra from the seat. He watched, sipping the drink as the room soon emptied out. Even Ed and Niall made a quick exit too, both promising to call tomorrow. 

“Can’t even have fun.” Harry pouted. 

“You can, just not while ruining a property that isn’t yours to ruin.” Craig commented. 

“Harry, you need to sort yourself out.” Someone spoke, Harry glanced up, it was someone higher up in the label. He knew that much - his name, not so much. “We can’t keep doing this. You’re ruining your career.” 

“What career?” 

“Don’t be all woe is me, you’ve got a job to do and at the moment you’re doing a fucking terrible job of it. It’s like you forget how famous you are, you’re one of the most wanted men to come from the UK. You’re a global superstar and how are you dealing with that? Ruining your fucking life.” 

“Blah, blah, fuckin’ blah!” Harry rolled his eyes, taking another swig. “Like you give a fuck.” 

“This stops. Now.” He spoke firm. He turned to Craig “He’s on tour, he needs to be focused on that. We’re on the second show and he’s already being a pain in the ass, get him in check. Lock him away, don’t let him out until he’s on stage, just restrain him. If this happens again, it’s not just him who will face consequences.” 

“Yes, sir. It won’t happen again, I assure you. Louis and I are focusing on him.” 

He glanced between Louis and Craig and nodded. “Yes well, let’s try and do a better job of it. Make sure he goes home. You’re in Nottingham tomorrow.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

They both stood at the door watching as the men in suits walked out of the room and through the hallway. Both men sighing as soon as they were out of sight, Harry was humming along to himself as he sipped the burning liquid, oblivious to his surroundings. 

“Can you-“ 

“Yeah.” Louis nodded, not needing him to finish. 

Craig smiled. “Thanks man. I’m going to go and apologise to the staff and help finish packing the gear.” 

Louis smiled, he waited for Craig to leave and then closed the door behind him. Harry could feel Louis’ eyes burning down on him, he took another swig and placed the bottle on the coffee table in front of him. 

“Harry…” 

“I’m so fuckin’ done with this” Harry admitted. 

Louis stepped forward. “What?” 

“All of this. I don’t want it.” 

“You’re so drunk, Harry. I think you should let me take you home now, yeah? Before you fuck anything else up.” 

“S’all I’m good at.” 

Louis stopped in his steps, his hands failing to his side. “Do you realise that you could have put Craig’s job at risk tonight? As well as everyone else working tirelessly for you day in and day out?” 

“They wouldn’t sack him.” Harry shrugged. 

“Yes, they would Harry. He barely had a job again this year, he had to beg to keep it. And you know why?” Louis asked and Harry shrugged. “Because of you. You don’t think about anyone else but yourself when you do this stupid shit. Every time you fuck up, you put his job at risk. He’s supposed to be making sure you do your job and stay out of trouble - how can he do that when you make it impossible?” 

“Why should I?” Harry asked. “Why should I have to do what everyone else fucking wants me to do? Why can’t I just do things for myself, for once.” 

“I get that you’re frustrated and that’s why you’re acting the way you are Harry, but you need to stop being so selfish and remember that everyone else around you is going through shit too, yeah? You’re unhappy, that’s fine. But other people have feelings.” 

Harry stated aimlessly, attempting to take in everything that Louis was saying. 

“I’ve only known you for a total of three days and you’re already straining my life, you’re exhausting Harry. I think you need to sit and think about what it is you actually want in life because at the moment, all you are is this lost boy.” 

Harry nodded, not about the straining on Louis’ life although that was a thing. More so at the Lost Boy, he agreed, he was. But no matter how many people told him, nothing could change that. No one would get it, not Louis, not anyone. 

“You don’t understand.” Is all Harry said. 

“No, I don’t. And I never will Harry. I’m never going to be the world's number one rockstar, loved by millions. But, I understand that things are frustrating sometimes and that’s okay. The thing is, there’s a way of dealing with things and at the moment, you’re not doing that. You’re creating more issues. None of this is going to make you happy, no amount of alcohol, fake friends or drugs, you’re the only one who can do that.” 

Harry gulped, the alcohol suddenly coming back up on him, the words of reality, real life, all too much. His eyes welled up and he didn’t respond, he couldn’t. 

He wanted to believe it from the blue eyed boy he had only known a few weeks, but he was past that now. 

Instead, he chose to stay silent. 

“Shall I take you home?” Louis asked, his voice soother compared to their usual conversations. 

Harry nodded. “Yes. Yes, please” 

Louis reached his hand out for Harry. “Come on.” 

Louis managed to pull Harry’s practically dead weight up from the sofa and linked his arm through the rockstars, holding him upright as he dragged him out of the room into the corridor. 

As Louis walked Harry through the hall, all Harry could think about was how badly he needed a drink right now and that said it all really - he needed it, to forget reality. 

“You need a good night's sleep.” 

And Louis was right, he really did. 

The remainder of the month, Harry attempted to stay on his best behaviour, he really did. But it only lasted four hours before he was causing trouble again, he couldn’t help it. At least he didn’t think he could - at least he caused trouble hidden away from the public eye. 

He managed to cope every night on tour, through the help of his trusty alcohol. He was on house arrest pretty much, he wasn’t allowed to leave the stadium, he was to go back to the Hotel after every show and wasn’t allowed back out until it was show time. 

Luckily for him - Hotel Bars and Mini fridges existed.

He and Louis continued to bicker, Louis would tell him over and over again that he was being a ‘silly twat’ and that he’s ‘a fucking moron.’ But Harry seemed to enjoy that now - having someone to entertain him. Luckily, due to him being on ‘house arrest’ in the UK, Louis didn’t need to monitor his every move - not that he didn’t anyway. Harry would peer over his shoulder and would find Louis’ eyes on him, almost like he was waiting for the next drama to ensue. 

It was the final date in the UK, ending in Cardiff. Louis hadn’t been around all day, Harry had been drinking a crate of beer to himself, Niall wasn’t able to come with him to this one so he was truly bored - under strict instructions not to leave the stadium today. Mainly due to the fact they had a flight to catch straight after and they all feared he’d go AWOL. 

He was in the middle of tipsily singing Mr Brightside into the MIC of the stadium when Louis finally showed up, waltzing through the crowd entrance, dressed in a sweater that practically drowned him. He looked at Harry with a frown and then down at Craig who was sat on the edge of the stage, looking like he was quite easily ready to jump off. 

“What the fuck?” Louis asked. “Is he drunk?” 

“Thank god you’re here” Craig lifted his head, he looked exhausted. “You don’t realise how hard it’s been trying to keep this one entertained while setting up for a concert Louis.” 

“I kinda do.” He snorted, stopping at the floor at the very edge of the stage. “What’s he been drinking?” 

“Beer.” 

“Not so bad.” He sighed. He reached up on the stage, pulling himself up onto it with his hands. 

“Louis Tomlinson is here guys. My babysitter has arrived.” Harry slurred into the mic. “This not song is dedicated to Louis, it’s Fuck You by Lilly Allen.” 

“Yeah, yeah, showtimes over.” Louis stated, standing himself up on the edge of the stage. 

“Where have you been all day?” Harry quizzed, quite dramatically due to the microphone. 

“With family. I promised I’d visit my sisters.” 

“Oh.” Harry said, stepping back from the mic. He took a swig of his beer. “You have sisters?” 

“Yeah, five.” 

“Five?” Harry choked. 

“Did I stutter, Styles? Yes, five. Fans of you, sadly.” 

“They have taste.” Harry was smug. 

Louis shook his head. “If only they knew you, hey?” 

Harry didn’t like that very much. He wasn’t sure why that seemed to upset him, his head couldn’t quite function around that comment. “I’m not that bad.” 

“Wow. Changed your tune, yes Harry, you are that bad. You’re drunk, which means you’re tolerable. Sober you is an absolute asshole.” 

“I have a sister” Harry diverted the conversation. 

“That’s great. Is she like you?” Louis asked, sarcasm tracing his voice. 

He shook his head. “No. Mum says she’s her little angel, went to Uni to study Law, really good in her field, married with kids, proper done well for herself. Nothin’ like me, she’s great.” 

Louis’ face softened. “I didn’t mean it like…” 

“Yes you did. You don’t have to pretend for my sake, I’m fully aware of the fact that I’m a nightmare. Don’t sugarcoat it on my account.” 

“Right.” Louis nodded, the awkwardness radiating. “Do you think you should go and get showered? Freshen yourself up for the show?” 

Harry shrugged, downing the remainder of his beer. “There’s some girl in my dressing room.” 

“There’s a what?” 

“A girl.” He stated. “In my dressing room.” 

Louis frowned, turning to Craig helplessly. “What?” 

“He can’t remember that he came today with some girl, slept with her and she’s not left his dressing room since. No idea who she is” He tried to explain. 

“Right, so no one thought maybe getting security to remove her would be a good idea?” 

“S’was too scared to go back there” Harry said. “She’s crazy, tried to cut me hair” 

“Craig, call security and ask them to remove her.” Louis demanded. “I’d love to know why she’s been allowed to wander freely around his dressing room for hours! She could have taken anything, has she even signed an NDA? Do you realise how stupid…” 

Harry began giggling and cut Louis off. “You’re being very professional. Sound like management.” 

“Someone’s got to take account of your life Harry. Considering no one else seems to care.” 

“Oh.”

“Security, Craig!” Louis demanded again, watching as Craig ran off down one of the halls. “Jesus Christ, it’s a wonder how anyone copes here.” 

“Yes, sir.” Harry snorted a laugh and Louis really tried to hide the fact he nearly smiled. 

“Shower Harry.” 

The flight to LA was tedious, Harry had a headache, his eyes were burning and his head was ringing. He was currently spread out on two of the seats on the jet, leaving one member of his entourage on the floor. He had a blanket pulled up to his chin and a makeshift pillow behind his neck, not that it helped him stop complaining every five minutes. Louis was sat on the seats beside him, headphones in as he focused on whatever show he was binge watching. 

“My head hurts.” He announced. 

He turned to look at Louis, but he didn’t even nudge, almost like he was unaware that Harry was there. 

Harry huffed, reaching over his blanket to grab an empty water bottle. He turned and threw it at Louis, watching as it hit him in the arm. Louis exhaled, eyes closing as he paused his show and slowly dragged his headphones from his ears. 

“What Harry? What could you possibly want?” 

“My head hurts.” 

“What do you want me to fuckin’ do?” 

“Painkillers.” 

“Get your own.” 

“No.” Harry argued, it was unnecessary but he just felt like it. “I need painkillers” 

“You have a headache cause you’re over tired, you’ve not slept properly in weeks and you’ve spent most of it ingesting shit that’s harmful to your body - if you, I don’t know, just went to fuckin’ sleep, maybe it wouldn’t hurt” 

“I can’t sleep if I have a headache.” 

Harry glanced down the aisle to see everyone else was asleep, Louis was the only person who he could force to endure this right now. 

“Harry, close your eyes. It’s like watching a toddler.” 

Harry huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. He tilted his head, looking at Louis again who had yet to put his headphones back into his ears. He noted the scar that lay prominently behind his ear. 

“What’s that from?” 

Louis sighed, turning to look at him. “What?” 

“That scar, under your ear. What’s it from?” 

“You’re talkative, considering you’re sober. It’s annoying. I prefer you being an ignorant bastard.” Louis muttered, lifting himself up in his seat. “I fell out of a tree, I was cut by a branch, had stitches.” 

“Why were you in a tree?” 

“Because I was a child, children climb trees.” 

“How’d you fall?” 

“Fucking hell.” Louis groaned. 

“What? I’m only trying to have a fucking conversation, sue me for being interested.” 

“You’re not interested, you’re just pretending you are so you can irritate me.” 

“Fuck sake, right, won’t talk again.” 

“No.” Louis spoke softly. “Right, I thought I could fly. I decided to jump out of the tree and prove it to my pal Calvin, ended up pulling a branch along with me on my fall. That’s how it happened.” 

“You thought you could fly?” Harry frowned, more of an amused look than anything. 

“You can’t tell me that young Harry Styles didn’t think he could do impossible things?” 

Harry shrugged. “I thought I could be a famous rockstar.” 

“Ah.” Louis squirmed in his seat. “Well, at least yours haven’t left you with a scar.” 

“A few, you just can’t see them.” Harry admitted, not entirely sure why. He was over-tired, hungover, sensitive and needy. He would speak to a tree at this point. 

“What else did you want to be?” 

“Huh?” 

“You know…” Louis began, turning his seat. He pulled his knees to his chest and rolled to his side, pulling his own blanket to his chin as he curled up. He looked so soft. “When you’re young, you want to be all sorts of things. So, like, other than a rockstar? What was it that little Harry Styles wanted?” 

Harry mused over the question. No one had really ever asked him before, no one really cared. “I don’t really know… I wanted to be Prime Minister, told my mum that I was going to make it illegal for people to have to go to School… Oh! I also wanted to be Tinkerbell, I was certain I could grow up to be a fairy, my mum bought me wings and would sprinkle ‘fairy dust’ on my pillow for me, told me that it would help me grow up to be magic, just like tinkerbell.” 

“Harry, that’s adorable. I kind of wanted to be Peter Pan, imagine, we both could have ended up so differently.” Louis teased. 

“Yes, I could have been a small flying fairy and you could have been the boy who never grew up.” 

“I think you’re the boy who never grew up, Harry. Think you changed roles. You’re very impressionable for your age… I don’t mean that to be horrible though” He quickly defended his thought. “I just mean, do you ever wish you could have done something different? Silly question really, you literally have everything that people dream of having.” 

“Do I?” Harry asked, pausing a second as he turned on his side. “I don’t feel like I do. I think you’ve seen that this shit isn’t what it’s hyped up to be Louis. If I had one wish, I would ask for a different life.” 

“Why? Why do you hate it so much? You’re Harry Styles, you do realise you’re practically loved by everyone right?” 

“It’s not… it’s not like that. It’s hard to explain.” The words choked up on Harry, he couldn’t figure out what he wanted to say. He never could. “I love singing. I love writing. I love performing.” 

“Then, what’s the problem?” Louis yawned. 

“Everything that comes with it.” 

“I think you’ve got some soul searching to do.” Louis mumbled, eyes drifting closed. “I don’t think you know who you are.” 

“No, I don’t think I do.” 

“You need… to be happy.” 

“Easier said than done.” Harry spoke softly, eyes matching Louis’ as they drifted over. 

“You can do it.” 

  
  


✖️✖️✖️✖️

LA was Harry’s second home. He bought a house out here during his first tour, deciding that he was officially something in the world, purely due to his home. 

He had a few days before the second leg of the tour began and Niall had flown out the day after they arrived, managing to get some time off work after Harry insisted he come and spend some time with him. 

He was on strict instructions that he was to behave - his contract pointed out to him several times to tell remind him that he had a public image he legally had to abide by. So, much like the UK he was housebound. Which obviously didn’t stop him from planning a house party the day before his tour started, he was inviting anyone who was anybody to it - making a point of saying that Harry Styles was back home. 

Niall was asleep on the sofa of his open plan living room recovering from major jet lag, while he was cooped up on the single seater, his phone in hand as his thumb hovered over the call button. He had been sat for two hours, his mum’s name in view as he plucked the courage to finally call her. 

He had put it off for so long - knowing full well, that the last time he answered a call from her, he had white powder hanging from his nose and was so out of it, he couldn’t remember what was even said. All he knew was that his mum had texted him to say she was worried, that was enough to cause fear in Harry’s eyes. 

He listened to Niall snore a few more times before finally plucking the courage, eyes on the clock as it turned two hours since he considered it. 

He pushed his sunglasses into his hair and sat up in his seat as his thumb finally pressed the call button. He reached his free hand to rub at his eyes, attempting to make himself look moderately human. He listened as it called out, biting on his bottom lip with nerves. And then it stopped, the ‘connecting’ screen and then there she was - his beautiful mum. 

“Harry!” She wailed, her eyes wide as she caught sight of her son. A wide smile spreading across her face as the small teardrops fell. 

“Hi mum.” 

“Oh babe, I’ve missed you so much.” 

“Same” Harry agreed. 

“You’ve ignored me for so long, not answered any of my texts, ignored my calls, avoided me, I’ve been worried sick. If it wasn’t for my son being famous, I’d have been worried you were dead or something!” 

“Slightly dramatic.” 

“Is it? Last time I saw you, you weren’t in the best shape.” 

“Please” Harry winced. “Let’s not…” 

“Okay, okay… How are you baby?” 

“I’m okay.” 

“Okay? It would be nice to call you one time for you to tell me you’re bloody great, not okay. You look dreadful son, so tired.” 

“Charming.” Harry scoffed. 

“Gemma’s been worried too, you never ignore her.” 

“I’ll text her.” Harry shrugged. 

“What’s going on with you? I barely recognise you.” 

“I’m still me, what do you mean?”

“Are you? Harry, what are you doing? Why are you still doing this? When you’re this unhappy. You don’t know how hard it is knowing my baby is halfway across the world, hurting and there’s nothing I can do.” 

“I’m not hurting.” He was quick to defend. 

Then his Mum gave him that look, that knowing look that mum’s give you and you know that you’re fucked. 

“I’m just getting on with it” He added. 

His mum sighed. “Look, I’m not going to lecture you because when I do, you don’t speak to me for months. But, when are you coming home H? When’s this going to be done?” 

“It’s not going to be ‘done Mum, this is my life, you know that. I’m not unhappy, I have everything I could ever wish for.” He quoted Louis’ words from their late night conversation. “I’m contracted with Sony for three more years, then I’ll probably carry on. You knew this would be the case when you agreed to me doing this” 

“I agreed to you living your dream, I just don’t see that happening.” 

“I’m singing, aren’t I?” 

“I’ve seen the tour videos babe, I would hardly say that’s the way you were performing when you weren’t in the position you are in. You look like you would rather be anywhere but there.” 

Harry sighed, reaching his free hand up to rub his temple. “Look, I just wanted to call and say Hello. I’m on tour now until the end of the year, I won’t be coming home until Christmas.” 

“Christmas? Jesus, Harry. We haven’t seen you since two Christmas’ ago!” 

“Yeah, well, I’ll be home at Christmas” He stated, he hated this. Really, all did want was to go home. Get away for awhile, see his family. “I’ve got to go.” 

“Is this all I get? A minute long FaceTime once a year?” 

“Mum, please…” 

“If you say you’re happy then so am I, but please babe, don’t forget who you are and why you’re doing it. And don’t forget your home. I’ll be here waiting, whenever you’re ready, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“I love you, sweetheart. So so much” 

“I love you too. Bye mum.” 

He watched as his mum’s face dropped as he reached to end the call. 

He made a note to himself - not to do that again. 

“I need a drink.” 

It was the day of his big LA Party, one that he shouldn’t be having, one he didn’t particularly want to have but was having anyway. It was a reason to get fucked up. And that was it. He needed it, more than ever. 

He was laying on the sun bed by his pool, as a bunch of workers worked around the clock to decorate his house ready for the evening. Niall was off somewhere trying to find a takeout that was like Nando’s, having no luck by the look of it, as he had left two hours previous. 

He was laying there, sipping on a gin and tonic, gazing at the view of Hollywood hills when his phone began to ring. He glanced at the table beside him, his hand reaching for it - he looked at the number and frowned, usually everyone who called him was on his contact list. Not that it stopped him from answering. 

“Hello?” He answered. 

“Styles. Please tell me the rumour isn’t true and you’re not throwing a career ruining party this evening?” 

Harry stifled a laugh as he heard the rough Yorkshire accent blast through his phone. Oh how he had missed irritating that bloke the past few days. 

“And if I am?” He challenged. 

“Oh fuck sake! You’ve ruined my evening.” 

“Your evening? How?” 

“I was going to go out with some of the crew for dinner but now I’m under strict instructions to stop you from doing anything fucking chaotic tonight… the media know about it, they’ll be in floods around your house.” 

“I can handle myself tonight. I don’t need you here.” 

“Too bad rockstar, managements orders.” 

“This is fuckin’ ridiculous. How embarrassing will that be? Throwing a party with my babysitter there. You do realise the likes of fucking Will Smith are attending, even Gerard Butler is coming.” 

“Gerard Butler? Oi, get me his number.” Louis said, hopefully. 

“Only if you don’t turn up.” 

“Ah, my fantasy will have to wait for another day. Or, I’ll just ask for it myself when I’m there.” 

“Bring a friend or somethin’, don’t just turn up and watch me all night. And if you dare even try and embarrass me in front of any of them Louis, I’ll personally drown you in my pool.” 

“You’re quite good at embarrassing yourself mate. I don’t think you need any help with that. I’ll bring a friend. Management have made a point of hiring security for you, considering you didn’t seem to think of that.” 

Harry frowned. “How does management know so much about this fucking party? Jesus Christ. It’s literally a night getting drunk with friends.” 

“Friends?” Louis snorted. “Alright mate, whatever you say. I’ll be there at eight.” 

“It doesn’t start till nine.” 

“I’ll see you at eight, Styles.” 

And with that, the line went dead. Harry hated his life. Or, he was slightly dramatic. 


	3. Chapter 3

Louis’ eyes. 

He shouldn’t have been surprised, not really. 

As his Uber pulled up at the large, over the top, silver gates, he was able to get the full view of the ridiculous house in front of him. 

The gates opened ahead of him and he saw it, pure white building, massive glass panelled windows, lion statues, a fountain, his spray painted name hovering over the front door, it was just all so dramatic and over the top - matching its owner perfectly. 

“Massive, innit?” Louis said, opening his door. 

“He’s got some money, hasn’t he. He probably owns ten of these.” 

Louis snorted, turning to look at his friend Liam as he stepped out of the car. 

He had met up with Liam the day he landed, his friend from back home, one of those who had managed to make it out of their dull hometowns and be something. He was DJ’ing out here after a stint in Ibiza, worked with some household names and in the run of it all, managed to make a name for himself too. He was successful, but unlike Harry, still the same. 

“Perks of having a friend who’s a dogs body, attending Harry Styles’ party.” Liam smirked, slamming the door behind him. 

“He’s not happy I’m here. But then again, he’s never happy so, there’s that.” Louis said as they walked along the long footpath to the front door. 

“I’ve heard he’s the life of the party mate, no one ever says a bad word against him.” 

Louis rolled his eyes, reaching to ring the bell. He turned to Liam. “That’s because no one really knows him.” 

They waited for a minute or two, Louis continually pressing the bell in an attempt to wind Harry up before he’d even seen him. It worked, as only a few seconds later, the door swung open and he was faced with a furious looking diva. 

He was dressed to impress, Louis noted. His unruly curls held back by a pure satin scarf, covered in pink and white, moulding into it. He was in the tightest white jeans Louis had ever seen, the only thought crossing his mind being ‘how does his dick breathe?’, then a shirt that was practically useless. Only a mere three buttons done up, while the rest lay unfastened, exposing his newly tanned torso. 

A rockstar he was. 

“Do you insist on being a pain in my ass?” 

“Yes, Harold.” Louis nodded, letting himself in as he pushed past Harry into the entrance hall. He whistled as he caught sight of the pristine white walls. “Someone is livin’ it large, ain’t they?” 

“Hi, I’m Liam.” Liam held his hand out to Harry, a wide smile across his face as his eyes caught sight of him. 

“Pleasure.” Harry returned the smile, clasping Liam’s hand in his own. “Make yourself at home.” 

“God you’re so fake.” Louis rolled his eyes. 

Harry’s smile dropped as he turned back to Louis. “Listen, I don’t want you here as much as you don’t want to be here, yeah? So keep your distance, don’t get involved in what I’m doing and stay out of my way. You’re here because you’re hired to do so, not ruin my evening.” 

Louis held his hands up in defence. “I’m here for the free booze and a good night if I’m honest, do what you fuckin’ want. I don’t care if you ruin your career or not.” 

Harry’s eyes furrowed, confused. “Right… whatever. Come with me.” 

Louis nodded, turning to Liam with a wink. He followed Harry through the house, clearly not being the only one to turn up early as there was already quite a group formed in the garden, at least 50 people. Which was only more concerning. 

“Harry, how many people did you fuckin’ invite?” 

“Thousand or something.” He shrugged, leading them into the kitchen. He went straight for the mixer that was in a jug on his kitchen island, pouring himself a glass. 

“A thousand? You’re actually a moron.” 

“Yes, you tell me often.” Harry rolled his eyes, he took a sip and turned back to look at Louis. Only, his eyes softened slightly as he looked him up and down. 

“Don’t stare me out, dickhead.” 

“You’re not wearing a tracksuit.” 

Louis frowned, gazing down at himself, he was right. 

“No Harry. Good observation.” 

“I approve.” 

“I’m so glad you approve Harry, I can continue on with my night with pride knowing that.” 

“Very tight jeans.” Harry noted. 

“Says you.” 

“Mine are a statement.” 

“A statement for what? Ways to kill your dick?” 

Harry snorted a laugh at that, spitting a bit of his drink out. “Oh fuck off. I’m going to socialise. Remember, don’t be a dick.” 

“Piss off, styles.” 

Harry sauntered off, swaying his hips in those ridiculous white jeans until he joined some others in the garden, glass in hand. Louis could hear him from the kitchen, greeting everyone as ‘darling’ putting on his showbiz voice. There were so many different sides to him, all so different from the other. Louis still couldn’t figure out which one was really him at this point. 

He turned to the jug Harry had just used and poured himself a glass, not a clue as to what it was. But, if Louis had to spend the night surrounded by celebs and people up their own arse, it was only fair he drank his way through it. 

He lifted the jug up to smell it. “Fuck me, that’s strong.” He winced, still continuing to pour himself a glass. “Pretty sure there’s 90% spirits and 10% mixer in there. My heads going to be sore tomorrow.” 

“Sexual tension then was on another level.” 

Louis snapped his neck to look at Liam, who had perched himself on a stool at the kitchen island, somehow managing to already find a stash of beer as he carelessly sipped one. “What?” 

“You two… It’s crazy sexual tension.” 

“Don’t be disgusting Liam. The guy is a psychopath, no over exaggeration at all there.” 

“He seems okay.” 

“Like I said, you don’t know him.” 

“And you do?” Liam challenged. “You work with him, you’re not exactly his friend, are you?” 

“No. But I’ve been with him enough.” He defending, visibly wincing at the taste of the alcohol that trickled down his throat. “See! Psychopath, this is lethal.” 

Liam snorted a laugh, glancing around at the ridiculous room they were in. Louis had to give Harry props, this place was like a dream, like you would expect from a multimillion pound rockstar - he almost expected there to be guitars hanging from walls, shelves hanging off their edges, empty bottles surrounding it. But, that was maybe because he recently watched the Freddie Mercury movie. But, this was crystal clean. Pure white everything, the island top almost glimmering against the sunshine that poured through the open windows. 

“I hope we see Will Smith. I’m hoping to get a picture with him so I can post it on Instagram and pretend we’re best friends.” 

“You’re the worst.” Louis face palmed. “Why did I bring you?” 

“Probably has something to do with the fact I’m your only friend out here.” 

“That’ll be it.” 

Louis decided along the way that he should probably take into account that he was here for work and not play, so around an hour in when Harry’s house had turned into a scene of Project X, he had situated himself in the garden - sat back on a lounger by the pool while the remainder of the party continued to get, as they quoted ‘lit’. He was tipsy, that was fair to say, which was only more upsetting as he couldn’t have fun with it - Liam had left him the moment he started catching sight of A Listers who had arrived, ready to worm his way in with them. 

Louis was currently watching from across the garden as Liam relentlessly irritated Calvin Harris, most likely attempting to get him to collab with him - dirty business work on Liam’s behalf, waiting until celebrities were half drunk before attempting to get them to work with his lame ass. 

He was listening as the live band played in Harry’s back garden, watching all of these people socialise with one another as if they had been best friends forever. It was a weird one really, at least Louis thought so - here they were, a bunch of people all together who had literally nothing in common but forced to be friends purely due to their social structure. Half of the people were just stood beside one another, drinks in hand, not saying a word. It was a weird party - the ones Louis was used to back home were so different, he was used to wild nights. 

People would be trashing houses, playing drinking games, dancing, having fun but the only person who looked like he was having fun was Harry - who was dancing alone in the crowd while the music played, a bottle of gin in his hand as he enjoyed himself. The only person at the party who was truly drunk and loving every moment of it. 

Louis couldn’t figure out how he felt about Harry - the guy was like no one else he had met before, completely fucking insane, a real personality issue and the worst temper he had ever seen. But then there would be these moments, always when he was drunk or half asleep, where it was like he was this whole other person. Louis didn’t know if it was the real Harry that he saw in moments like that or if it was an act. 

That’s the problem. He never knew and he never would. The boy dancing by himself was damaged and there was no helping him. 

He was on his fifth drink, the alcohol straight in his system now, his head slightly washed while his body seemed to float as he walked. Liam had returned with stories of all the celebs he had managed to corner, boasting about the phone numbers he now had in his possession. The party was in full swing, some straight faced boring members now seeming as though they may actually be enjoying themselves. 

Louis felt a tap on his shoulder. “Excuse me.” 

His body turned, glancing up at the stranger behind him. He frowned, looking him up and down. “Yes?” 

“Sorry, I’ve been plucking the courage to come and say hello for the last hour now.” The lad blurted. “That sounds depressing. Okay, yeah, Hi.” 

Louis’ smiled, only just. “Hello?” 

“Hi, Sorry. I’m Tom.” 

“Hi.” Louis repeated. His head was spinning. “Louis.” 

“Wow, amazing name.” 

He laughed. “What?” 

“I’m really bad at this aren’t I?” 

“What exactly is this?” Louis challenged, turning his back to Liam now to look at the stranger.” 

“This… I guess I’m trying to chat you up?” 

“Wow. I see.” Louis nodded, eyes furrowed as he gazed over the handsome stranger. He was easy on the eye, that was for sure. And an English accent, one that seemed to have been non-existing at this party. “Tell me Tom, are you an actor?” 

“Yes, I mean, yeah. Why?” 

“Are you good at acting? Because if you’re playing an act of being the very uncool, not-confident bloke, you’re doing very well.” 

“Sadly, this is just me.” He shrugged, holding his arms up in defence. “What’s your trade?” 

“Ah, sorry to disappoint but I’m not one of you.” 

“Disappoint? Wait, what do you mean one of you?” He quizzed, a slight gleam in his eye. “You mean one of us brain dead celebrities?” 

“You’re catching on.” Louis winked. “I’m just Louis, I work with Harry. In fact, I’m his professional babysitter, not exactly the job I applied for but here I am.” 

“Oh!” Tom nodded, glancing over Louis’ shoulder to look at Harry who was on his patio, encouraging everyone to take body shots from him. “Should he be doing that?” 

Louis peered over his shoulder to look and shook his head, turning back to Tom. “Probably not.” 

“Something tells me you’re not very good at your job.” 

“I’d have to agree. So how did you end up here tonight? Don’t seem like Harry’s usual type of friend, but then again, no one here does.” 

“We met at a party a year ago, exchanged numbers and he always invites me to his get togethers, quite literally begs. Luckily, my calendar was open.” 

“Very lucky. You got to meet me.” 

Tom smirked at that, his confidence seeming to finally appear the more Louis played into his hands. “Indeed. Before I get lost in the madness, could I possibly get your phone number?” 

Louis pondered over it for a moment, he didn’t know if it was particularly the best move, involving himself in the likes of people like Harry. But the actor was pleading with his gorgeous blue eyes and who was he to reject him? 

Louis pulled out his phone from his back pocket, unlocked it and passed it over to him. “Go on then.” 

He smiled graciously, taking the phone in his own hands. 

“Sorry I tried to play it cool, but I’m a huge fan.” Liam suddenly badges into the side of Louis, reaching over him with an extended hand. “Huge Loki fan.” 

“Thanks man.” Tom smiled, handing Louis his phone back as he took Liam’s hand in his own. “Always a pleasure to meet someone with taste.” 

“Of course, of course.” Liam grinned wildly, shaking Tom’s hand repeatedly. 

“I hate to… the kid your babysitting is on his way over.” Tom announced, attempting to free his hand. 

“Liam let go.” Louis sighed, glancing behind him to see the curly haired rockstar waltz his way over. “Here we go.” 

Louis turned to Tom with an apologetic smile, just in time for Harry to reach them. 

“Louis Tomlinson. What are you doing?” 

“What?” 

Harry pushed past him and saw Tom. “Hi Tom!” 

“Mr Styles, how are you?” 

“Fabulous. Is my minder annoying you? He’s good at that.” Harry snorted. 

“He was actually hitting on Louis.” Liam chimed in. 

Harry frowned, turning his head as he looked between both Louis and Tom. “Oh. Okay, whatever.” He turned back to Louis. “Can you help me?” He slurred. 

Louis’ shoulders dropped “What?” 

“I’ve lost my phone.” 

“How? It wouldn’t have gone far, we’re in your house. It’ll turn up.” 

“I need it Louis!” He whined, taking a swig of his drink. “Also, I’m pretty sure there’s an orgy happening in my spare room and I’m pretty sure Lewis Capaldi is involved in it.” 

“That’s… disgusting.” Louis scowled. 

Tom suddenly piped in, grabbing Louis’ wrist. “I’m going to socialise, don’t forget to text me.” 

“Sure.” Louis smiled, watching as Tom moved himself back into the crowd of people. He turned to Harry and his face dropped when he caught sight of his bottom lip hanging out. “What do you want me to do?” 

“Did you give him your number?” 

“That’s not the conversation we’re having right now.” 

“But, did you?” Harry pushed. 

Louis’ hands dropped to his side, already exhausted by the conversation. “Yes, I did. Now, what do you want me to do?”

“He’s really famous, y’know. And you don’t like famous people.” 

“When have I ever said I don’t like famous people? I am human Harry, I do tend to like people famous or not.”

“But you don’t like me and I’m famous.” 

Louis’ eyes softened, here he was again, acting all vulnerable like he wasn’t the biggest pain in the arse he had ever met. “I don’t dislike you, I just think you’re a dick a lot of the time.” 

“And he’s not?” 

“I just met him Harry! Why are we having this conversation right now?” 

“I don’t know. I’ve lost my coke too.” 

“Fuckin’ hell.” Louis groaned, he turned passing his drink to Liam who was in a full blown conversation with another celeb. “I’ll help you find your phone. But, can you remember I’m here to make sure you don’t do something fucking stupid not wait on you hand and foot.” 

“Yes. Now, phone.” 

“Where did you have it last?” 

“This morning.” 

“I can’t cope.” 

“Let’s check the kitchen!” 

Louis ended up following Harry around for an hour, watching as he walked his way through every room to look for it, only to be distracted every five minutes by someone he claimed was his best friend. Standard. 

At the end of the hour, after being dragged from pillar to post, they found his phone - it was in his pocket the entire time, which Harry seemed to find hilarious. Louis not so much. 

It was around midnight, Louis was ordered by Harry. “Don’t leave my side.” So he was currently sitting on a swing chair, listening to Harry talk to his friend Nick while he was thinking about when he’d be able to go home and go to bed. They talked for half an hour, neither making much sense due to the amount of coke they had taken the moment they set eyes on one another - it was like they were in their own world. 

When it was time for Nick to go, Harry pouted like his entire world crashed down. 

“But when will I see you again?” 

Nick laughed. “As soon as you’re home from tour.” 

Harry sat back in the seat beside Louis, waving his friend off as he trailed across the busy garden from their little quiet spot they had found. Louis watched as Harry sighed, his arms flying up behind his head to lean on, he inhaled, closing his eyes. 

“I’m fucked.” Harry admitted. 

“No shit, Sherlock. When will this party end? I’m ready to go home.” 

“It usually stops tomorrow at some point.” 

Louis choked. “You what mate?” 

Harry snorted, opening his eyes to look at Louis. “You’re such a prude.” 

“I’m a prude? Whatever. I’m not staying all night.”

“No one asked you to.” 

Louis rolled his eyes. He didn’t need this. “Look, there’s no need for you to talk to me like shit all the time.” 

“Says you.” Harry laughed, eyes wide. “All you do is talk to me like fucking shit.” 

“Fuckin’ rich. You started this, with how rude you were that day I met you. First impressions don’t work well with you, Styles. I assure you of that… What is it with you?” 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

“How picky you are about who you’re nice to and when you’re nice to them. I’ve spoken to a few people here tonight and none of them act like you, considering they’re on the same level as fame. What makes you so entitled?” 

Harry frowned, sitting up on the swing chair. “You do realise that no one here is on my level?” 

“Way to sound like an entitled arsehole.” 

“You wouldn’t fuckin’ get it.” 

“Try me then!” 

“No, because you won’t. No one fuckin’ does. I’m not purposely an asshole, it’s just who I am.” 

“I highly doubt you’ve always been such a condescending prick.” 

Harry rolled his eyes. “Can we not? I’m not in the mood for another argument.” 

“It’s hard not to when you act the way you do.” 

“I’m tired.” Harry admitted, avoiding it. 

“You’ve got no chance. You need to kick everyone out.” 

He shook his head. “I’ll just sleep here.” 

“Or, you could kick everyone out and go to your actual bed?” 

“No one comes here. It’s fine.” 

Louis didn’t have it in him to argue. He glanced at Harry, who was half asleep beside him, he just didn’t understand it. This boy. This rockstar. 

“If you’re sleeping, then I can go home” Louis announced, tapping his thighs as he went to get up. His plan was derailed as Harry grabbed his wrist. He looked down at the Rockstar, eyes on his. 

“Can you stay?” 

“Why?” 

Harry bit his lip, pondering over an answer. “I just… I don’t want to be on my own.” 

Louis looked at the younger lad, eyes on his, his fingers wrapped around his wrist and Louis knew that he shouldn’t stay, he should go home, because when morning came, he would be sober Harry. He didn’t get paid enough to sleep outside with rockstars while they are on a come down from all the drugs they’d had. 

But in Louis’ defence, he was tired, the alcohol had worn off and he’d have slept anywhere. So, reluctantly, he nodded. “Okay.” 

Harry slowly let go of Louis’ wrist as watched him take his seat back beside him. Louis nestled himself back down, he brought his knees to his chest, leaning his head on the side of the chair. He could sleep. 

Harry seemed to relax, his whole body seemed to chill, from the usual tense structure he had every day. His breathing evened out, Louis stared at the sky, the music barely there from where it played in the background and that’s how he fell asleep, beside Harry, the sound of his breathing forcing him to sleep. 

It was a weird night. But it was bound to be, Harry Styles brought this out. 

✖️✖️✖️✖️ 

Louis awoke the next morning with an ache in his neck, throbbing and evident enough to wake him. He was cold, very cold, other than his right side that felt as though it had been wrapped up in a blanket. He slowly opened his eyes, yawning as he did, he moved his left hand from his side to reach up and rub at his eyes. 

He inhaled, eyes wide as he glanced up at the sky that he had fallen asleep looking at. It was clear blue skies, not a cloud in sight, he looked to where the party was in full force the night before to see nothing more than a ‘once was’, grass covered in empty bottles, glasses, rubbish all over the place. You couldn’t mistake that the night before had happened. 

It was only upon looking at his surroundings that he turned to look at his other side, reminding him that he most definitely did sleep outside last night. Laying beside him, his head resting on Louis’ shoulder and his body covered his arm and side of his torso was Harry. 

Sleeping, sound asleep, his lashes fluttering against his cheek bone, his breathing equal and he looked so lovely. Looking at him sleeping so soundly, you would never guess he was the person he was - he looked so soft and vulnerable and so far from the character he was. 

He didn’t dare move - awake the demon, more like. So he lay there, allowing Harry to sleep. He had no idea what time it was or anything, but he didn’t care. This lad needed to rest, he hasn’t slept properly in months, years even. 

He doesn’t know how long he lay there, just watching the sky move above him, he lost track of time. And then, eventually, the younger lad stirred beside him. A lengthy yawn escaping the singers mouth and Louis stilled, waiting for the blow to come - for the illusion to break. 

What he didn’t expect was for Harry to say. “Morning.” 

He decided against making a comment. “Hey.” 

Harry stretched out, his legs bounding out in front of him. He stayed out, his head resting against Louis as he woke up. “What time is it?” His voice was hoarse. 

“No idea.” 

“You been awake long?” 

Louis shook his head. “No I don’t think so.” 

Harry nodded gently against Louis’ chest. He stared out at the sky above them much like Louis had been doing, he stayed there for a few moments before he finally pushed himself from Louis and leant back against the seat. Louis watched at the way he rubbed his eyes, he looked so young. 

“Got a show today.” Harry stated. His voice husky. 

“Yeah.” Louis nodded, pulling his phone from his pocket. He frowned at the 10% flashing on his battery before looking at the time. “Shit. It’s 1 in the afternoon, I’m supposed to be at the Greek Theatre in an hour.” 

“You might be a bit late.” 

“No shit.” Louis said and instantly regretting it, seeing Harry tense up again. He softened as he turned to Harry again. “I’m going to head off, what time are you due?” 

“Seven.” 

“Right. Okay.” Louis nodded, standing to his feet. He brushed his clothes down, it was evident that he had slept in them no matter how much he tried to hide it. He pulled his phone out and went straight to the Uber App. “You’ve got a lot of cleaning up to do.” 

“I’ll pay someone to do it for me.” Harry said, a slight smile forming on his lips. 

“Of course you will, Rockstar.” Louis rolled his eyes, except this time it was more fond than anything. He booked the Uber and sighed. “Be good, yeah? Why don’t you spend the day doing something for you?” 

“What’s that even mean?” Harry frowned. 

“I don’t know. Do something productive. Paint, write a novel, write a song, meditate, do something healthy.” 

“Write a novel? In six hours?” Harry challenged. 

Louis shrugged, already starting to walk away. “Be creative Harry Styles!” 

He left Harry confused on the swing chair, stepping over the remains from the night before. As he did, he thought about it all, the night, the morning, maybe he didn’t hate Harry Styles. Maybe he could help him. 

Unlikely. But maybe he could try. 

It was six, Louis had spent hours ensuring everything was ready to go for the night. Fans had been lining up since the night before, camping out in groups at the entrance, ready to witness Harry Styles live. They had to make sure it was a good one - whether Harry would be willing to do the same or not, as long as it looked good was all that mattered. 

He was finally sat down, legs kicked up on the table in front of him in the break room. He was in his element, a cup of tea in hand and relaxed. Minus the ache in his neck from his uncomfortable sleep, he was quite chilled. 

He had his phone in hand, had been scrolling through Twitter for a while, reading some of the tweets from fans regarding the show that evening. All so excited, all praising Harry like he was god. An array of ‘he’s my idol’, ‘all hail King Styles.’, ‘I’m seeing the King of rock and roll tonight!’. 

After stalking Harry’s fans for a while, he went onto his contacts, Tom’s name screaming out at him. It was only once he had sat down today that he finally googled him, realised that the awkward bloke was really something. He was in so many amazing movies that Louis had actually watched which embarrassed him even more after not recognising him the evening before - he would blame the alcohol. 

He glanced at the clock, he still had a little while before he would have to get back to work. “Fuck it” he muttered. He opened up new message and began typing out, no idea what to say. 

** _Message for the awkward actor I met last night ! Just a quick one to say Hi x _ **

He cringed at himself but sent it nevertheless. 

“Lou!” Craig popped his head through the door. “How was last night? Any trouble?” 

“Hey.” He smiled, placing his phone on his lap. “No, relatively well behaved I’m afraid. No drama.” 

“Fabulous! Keep up the good work with him and we might all keep our jobs.” 

Louis snorted. “Will do mate!” 

“Lights in fifteen?” 

“I’ll be there.” Louis nodded, waving as he felt his phone vibrate on his thigh. He waited until he was alone again before he picked it up. 

He didn’t expect a response so quick, if anything, he thought the Actor would regret giving his number to some stranger who looks after Harry Styles. 

_ **Louis. Hello. I contemplated not replying straight away but I think it’s fair to assume I’m not very swarve about these kind of things. Thank you for texting me. How was the rest of your evening? I didn’t see you again. X** _

He smiled, it was quite endearing. 

_ **Babysitting duties I’m afraid . Quite the night ! X ** _

The reply came within seconds. 

_ **Ah, well, I think when you can take some time away from babysitting the world's favourite rockstar you should spare some time for an awkward actor. When can I see you? X ** _

“Forward.” Louis whispered to himself. 

He mentally went over the dates in his head, trying to figure out what was what. 

_ **I’m in LA until Friday . I have a free day on Thursday until the show of course ! Lunch ? X ** _

_ _

_ **Would be my pleasure. I’ll text you details. Speak soon x** _

Well that was a thing now. All he could think about was his sisters faces when he tells them he’s gone on a date with the guy who plays Loki, his eldest sibling Lottie would most likely cry - she was obsessed with those movies and he couldn’t wait. 

Half an hour later, he stood at the edge of the stage directing the crew with the lights, they only had a couple of hours before the show started and less than an hour until the crowd would pour in and they were on a tight schedule. 

“Right, remember, it’s blue and green!” Louis shouted to the lights team. “Nothing else.” 

“Looks alright.” Craig shrugged. “It’ll be fine.” 

Louis nodded, watching the intro rubix cube play on the large screens as they tested them. It would be fine. 

He was dragging a speaker along the stage when Harry finally made an appearance, he heard him way before he saw him. He had walked into the arena singing, it was definitely a Westlife song - not that Louis would judge but he certainly had shit music taste. 

He sighed as he dropped the speaker in the right place and exhaled a deep breath as he looked up. He was surprised, to say the least. Harry was sat on the speaker on the opposite side of the stage. 

He looked relatively, sober? He was dressed down, in a pair of black shorts and a hoodie, the strings tied below his neck. It was his own hoodie, the words ‘Treat people with kindness’ spread across the chest. He had a beanie over his head and only a few loose curls peeking beneath the wool. And for once, he looked, okay. 

“You’re chipper.” Louis noted, a confused look on his face never leaving. 

“And you’re sweaty.” 

“Touché” Louis shrugged, slowly walking across the stage. “Are you sober?” 

Harry frowned. “Yeah?” 

“Okay.” Louis slowly nodded. “What have you done with your day?” 

“I went to a Yoga Class, then I went for a jog and then I baked.” 

Louis stopped in his steps, even a few of the stage tech’s stopped what they were doing. Craig for one was shocked. “You fuckin’ did what?” 

“What?” Harry asked, oblivious. “You said to do something productive, so I did.” 

“I expected you to ignore me, if I’m honest mate.” 

“I baked cakes, they’re in the food room.” 

“Are you feeling okay?” Craig asked from the ladder he was currently suspended from. “I’m confused.” 

“Fuck off.” 

“There he is.” Craig sighed. “I was worried.” 

“What kind of cakes?” Louis asked. 

Harry’s eyes lit up. “Red velvet and chocolate, I even decorated them. They’re really artsy.” 

“Artsy” Louis laughed. “I see. Well, it’s a pleasant change to see you turn up like this rather than ready to throw one of us from a 100 foot building.” 

“It’s early days.” Harry shrugged. “I’m going to my dressing room. Apparently I have a fitting for tonight’s show.” 

“Yeah, okay, you do that.” 

“See you soon!” Harry sang, swinging his legs down from the speaker. 

Louis stood, very confused as Harry walked away backstage, not a tantrum in sight. It was all too bizarre for Louis. He wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about it. 

“What’s up with him?” Craig asked. 

Louis looked up at him on the ladder and shrugged. “I guess he’s just having a good day?” 

“Unlikely. I give it an hour.” 


	4. Chapter 4

“I swear to god Harry. Get the fuck down!” 

Louis was ready to climb up and jump off himself at this point. Tonight couldn’t possibly get any worse. 

It was the second night in LA, there were three shows in total this week due to the demand and Harry had decided to go back to his old ways. The night before went without any problems, Harry was on his best behaviour, he seemed to do as he was told and by the end of the concert, he almost acted like he enjoyed it. 

But, the moment they all left for the night. Harry seemed to forget all about how well the night had gone, he turned up at seven, as always - this time he was more drunk and unruly than usual, a buzz in his step, ready to destroy himself and the entire set along with him. 

Louis was currently staring up at Harry who had managed to steal Craig’s ladder and was sat on top of the light decking at the top of the stage - sat, pretending he was in some sort of ridiculous action movie and Louis was losing his will to live. 

“Be quiet, we’re spies!” Harry shouted back. “You’re blowing my cover Louis.” 

“Get down!” Louis whined, stomping his foot. 

“Come and get me.” Harry giggled. “It’ll be like that movie catch me if you can, if you can get to me then I’ll come down.” 

“I’m not playing this game.” Louis groaned, head dropping. “Harry if you break your neck they’ll have my head for it.” 

“Come on Louis! Come and get me.” 

“I don’t think he’s just drunk…” Craig said, stepping up onto the stage. “I reckon he’s taken something, he’s not usually this fuckin’ reckless. Well, to this extent.” 

“Like what?” 

“Acid, shrooms, ecstasy? I don’t know what the kids take these days but that’s not coke.” 

Louis sighed, glancing back up at Harry who was waving at him. “I’m going up.” He shrugged his jacket from his shoulders. “If I die for Harry Styles, I swear!” 

“Be careful.” Craig patted him on the back. 

“Not going to try and stop me, no? Tell me it’s too dangerous?” Louis frowned. 

He shrugged. “I’ve got stuff to do.” 

Louis’ stood helpless as Craig walked off, leaving him to deal with Harry. He’s almost certain this wasn’t in his contract. 

He reluctantly walked over to the ladder, his hands grabbing the sides as he shook it a few times, this couldn’t be safe. He inhaled a deep breath as he took his first step, he kept his eyes closed the entire way up, he didn’t want to think about the fact that he could fall at any moment or that he was climbing up a ladder to coax a fucking rockstar from falling and breaking his neck. He reached the top and with shaky hands grasped onto the metal above him, he opened his eyes and looked at Harry who was biting his lip down to stop himself from laughing. 

“I’m here. Now come on, down you get.” 

“Nope.” Harry refused. He patted the empty space beside him. “Sit.” 

“I hate my life.” Louis sighed, he reluctantly and very carefully pulled himself up onto the ridiculously high platform. His entire body shook with fear as he crawled his way onto the flat area, grasping onto Harry’s arm as he sat himself beside him. His heart was racing as he looked down. “Higher than it looks.” 

“Are you scared of heights?” 

“Yes. I fucking am.” Louis inhaled, his grasp still firmly on Harry’s arm. 

Harry giggled, pulling himself from Louis’ grip, instead he took Harry’s hand in his own and held it tight. “I’ve got you.” 

“I wouldn’t be up here if it wasn’t for you anyway.” 

“Live a little.” Harry shrugged. 

Louis shook his head, he didn't know what his life was right now. He looked up, looking out at the thousands of seats in front of him - from where he worked, he didn’t really get the full effect of the arena. This was practically Harry’s view every night, except it was filled with adoring faces, all there to see him. 

“Wow. Fucking huge, innit?” 

“I’ve done bigger.” 

“Crazy that it’s going to be filled with people in an hour. Like every single seat.” Louis observed. “Fuckin’ mad” 

Harry held Louis’ hand tighter. “Do you ever wish you could just press the rewind button?” 

“I do, when I watch Stranger Things. I miss things and have to go back to it to figure it out.” 

“I don’t… no.” Harry snorted. “In general, in life.” 

“I guess… But, things happen for a reason, don't they? It’s just life. No point dwelling on what if.” 

“I guess.” Harry nodded, eyes focused on the empty seats. “But, is there not anything you wish you could go back to and just tweak a little?” 

“Sure. But, I know there’s no chance of that happening. I just get on with life Harry, that’s all you can do. You take things as they come, cope with it and get over it.” 

“Kinda shitty though, just coping with it.” 

“Yeah I guess it is.” Louis shrugged. “It is what it is though.” 

I’m so high.” 

“I could tell.” 

“I don’t know why. I met up with some random people today and they offered me a load of shit, I don’t even know what it was, I just took it.” 

“That’s so fuckin’ stupid.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Harry admitted. “I feel awful but like I could climb the Empire State Building at the same time.” 

“Please don’t do that.” 

“Luckily we’re in LA so I’ll have to leave that for another time, I guess.” 

“Lucky us.” 

Harry sighed, eyes finally breaking from the spot in front of them. He glanced at Louis and down at their hands holding onto one another. “Do you like your job?”

Louis actually had to consider his answer, the entire job had been so far from his job description he wasn’t even sure what he was doing. 

“I guess I do.” Louis finally answered. 

“Did you always wanna do it?” 

Louis snorted. “God no. You think I grew up wanting to set up stages for people? I was a songwriter, but it wasn’t working. No one bothered. I thought I might as well try something close to it, so here I am. A tech.” 

“You’re a songwriter? No way! Why don’t you write me songs?” 

“I don’t think they’re quite like your stuff Harry. You sing about having people’s babies, sex, sex and more sex.” 

“Okay and what do you write about?” 

He shrugged. “Real stuff. Losing your love, falling apart, falling in love, losing people, y’know real.” 

“Will you show me some of it?” 

“Nope. Come on Styles, time to get down. We’re going to be letting people in soon.” 

“Only if you show me some lyrics.” Harry challenged. 

Louis sighed. His eyes flickering to meet Harry’s. “I’ll show you one, just one song, if you come down.” 

Harry beamed. “Deal.” 

To do so, they had to let go of each others hand and Harry didn’t seem to catch that. It wasn’t until Louis was attempting to crawl back to the ladder that Harry finally let go, his eyes not meeting Louis’. 

He promised he’d show Harry but he didn’t say when, so the entire time up until he was due on stage he pestered Louis relentlessly and Louis kind of loved it, loved the fact that he could keep Harry’s attention from anything but ruining his life. 

And when Harry came off stage, sweat dripping from his hairline, bright yellow suit hanging off of him, he belted over to Louis. “Now?” 

He would keep it going, for as long as possible. 

“Maybe tomorrow.” Louis winked. 

The next day, Louis had the entire day to himself, he was only needed to help out with lighting tonight so really didn’t need to be at the stadium until show time. 

It was nice, being in his own company - away from it for a while. He spent his morning chilled out, FaceTiming his family, reading a book, writing and topped it off with a deliverable McDonald’s breakfast. 

He couldn’t have been happier, he was sat on the balcony of his room, cigarette between his lips as he looked out at the busy LA streets when his phone rang. He glanced down at the name and smirked, he let it ring a few times before he finally answered. 

“Hello?” He answered, exhaling the smoke from between his lips. 

“Louis Tomlinson.” 

“Tom Hiddleston.” 

“How are we on this fine Thursday morning?” 

“I’m sick mate, happy as Larry. How can I help you?” 

“Can I interest you in some food and drinks?” 

Louis hummed. “What kind of food?” 

“Italian?” 

“Pizza?” 

“Of course.” 

“If you can promise a midday pint of beer, I’m all yours.” 

“Well, it wouldn’t be a date without it, would it?” 

“Name the time and the place.” 

Louis knew it, he knew that being seen in a public place with a celebrity would only cause havoc to his life but he was almost certain that his life couldn’t be any more hectic as it was - so why not add a little more contraversy? 

Tom had text him the details as soon as they ended the call and he had passed it onto his Uber driver, he decided to make somewhat of an effort today - not much different to usual, jeans and T-shirt, only this time he decided to do something with his hair which usually lay flat against his forehead. 

He wouldn’t admit that he watched a twenty minute YouTube video on how to style it - but, he would walk with pride with his ‘cinnamon swirl’ hair looking like a god. 

He was slightly nervous, mainly due to the fact he hadn’t been on a date in years. They weren’t really a thing back home, people tended to just meet on social media or on nights out nowadays, the days of dates and courting were long gone. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act, especially being in public with the actor. 

His footsteps were small as he walked away from his Uber, heading for the restaurant that Tom had sent him. He hated how adorable it was - tables lay outside, covered in flowers, it was like being in little Italy. 

Too cute for Louis to deal with, his idea of a date back home would be a few pints in the pub that was closed last week because of a fight over someone stealing someone’s weed. A complete different scene. 

He reached the front and he was stuck, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do from here. Was he supposed to wait? Does he go inside? Does he sit outside? So many stupid questions and no answers. 

“Louis!” 

Thank god. 

Louis spun on his heel, turning to see Tom sat at one of the tables outside, the table already present with two cold pints of larger. He stood to his feet, waving at him, Louis took a deep breath and smiled as he walked through the flowered arch way into the small outside area. 

“You look ravishing.” Tom greeted, pulling Louis into a hug, kissing his cheek ever so gentlemen-like. “Please, take a seat.” 

“Thank you.” Louis sat opposite him, his eyes focused on the beer in front of him. He reached his hand out and went for it, he brought the drink to his lips and took a large gulp. He closed his eyes and hummed as he swallowed. “Wow.” He said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Tastes like back home.” 

“Right? That’s why it’s my favourite. Can’t beat a pint of Carling.” 

“Didn’t think you would be a carling kinda bloke… Me, I can see. But you? More of a whiskey guy.” 

“What because I’m well spoken?” He laughed. 

“And ridiculously posh, well mannered and far too much of a gentleman.” 

“I’ll take that as a half-arsed compliment. Yes, well, even us both folke like a pint.” He smiled, leaning against the table. “Thank you for coming.” 

“I said I would.” 

“And I’m glad you did. Day off then, I suppose?” 

Louis nodded. “Only until later. Still got a job to do.” 

“I bet it’s a real experience, doing what you do.” 

“It really is.” Louis exhaled a laugh, thinking back to last night. “It’s never a dull day working with Harry Styles, I can assure you that.” 

“He’s a character.” 

“You could say that. But enough of me, tell me, what’s it like being Loki?” 

“Ah! So you do know who I am.” 

“Shamelessly, I may have googled you yesterday.” 

“Ouch. What did it say? Am I having an affair with a married woman?” 

“There may have been one article that explained that you may have had a threesome last weekend.” 

Tom nodded. “Ah yes, of course. Wild life, isn’t it?” 

“You’re quite the character yourself.” 

“The media would love you to believe that. I’m actually really boring, if I’m honest. Just a standard bloke from back home, socially awkward, polite, just normal.” 

“That’s good to know.” Louis smiled. 

“Maybe that’s why you stood out at the party.” 

“Why’s that?” 

Tom leaned his chin on the palm of his hand. “Well, I mean, everyone at the party was pretending to be someone they’re really not, then there’s you. So calm and collected, I saw you sitting by yourself drinking that Budweiser and I thought, I have to speak to him.” 

“So, you’re saying me being a loner drinking a beer was what got you going?” 

“It was just normal.” He shrugged. “Sue me. I have a type.” 

“Wasn’t aware you were interested in blokes. Nothing says about it online.” 

“That’s because I refuse to define a label on myself, why should I? It’s my life, I chose what I want. I don’t need to announce that.” 

“Very fair. I like that.” 

“Shall we get some food? I’m starved.” 

“Pizza only.” 

Louis seemed to ease into it much better than he thought he would, Tom was just so normal, they spoke with such ease and he was so comfortable. They spent a good two hours after eating, just speaking about everything and anything - He asked about Louis’ family and that was it, Louis went on and on about his sisters and Tom just revelled in it, taking all in. 

It was just so… Great. 

Tom ordered them a bottle of wine and Louis sighed, leaning back against his seat. “Are you trying to get me drunk? Some of us have to work tonight.” 

“I’m sure you’ll cope.” Tom smiled. “Plus, what’s the point of having drinks if you don’t finish it with a bottle of wine?” 

“Weird logic but I’ll go with it.” 

Louis’ phone began vibrating on the table and both of the lads looked down at it. “Sorry.” Louis quickly said, reaching for it. He glanced at the screen and froze, seeing Harry’s name. “It’s…” he stalled, watching as the ringing stopped. “Sorry.” 

“That’s okay.” Tom smiled, turning to greet the waiter as he bought over the bottle of wine for the two of them. “Ah! Amazing.” 

That’s when it rang again, Louis sighed, his eyes focused on the screen. He knew that he should probably ignore it, he really didn’t need Harry ruining this date for him. But, he didn’t have any will power. 

“Sorry, I’ve just got to…” Louis trailed off, gesturing to his phone and Tom just smiled for him to go on. 

“Hello?” 

“Louis. Where are you?” He slurred through the phone. “Why aren’t you here? I came here and you’re not fucking here.” 

“I’m out, Harry. Is everything okay?” 

“Out where?” 

“I’m just out.” 

“I need you here!” Harry demanded. 

“I’m not there until showtime today mate, you’re gonna have to cope with Craig until then. I’m kinda busy…” 

“Are you on a date? Fuck, is it with Tom?” 

“Harry…” He trailed off.

“Louis! Please come! I need you here.” 

Louis sighed, eyes glancing at Tom who was waiting so patiently “I’m on a date Harry.” 

“Fuck your date. What about me? I need ya’ here.” 

“What for? Why do you need me?” 

“I… ‘cause I do! Just come to the stadium, please. It’s the last show tonight and I need you.” 

“That’s not a good enough reason. Look, H, I’m busy.” 

Harry whined through the phone. “But Louis! Will you come soon? I need your help.” 

“If you tell me what with, then I’ll consider it.” 

He hummed through the phone. “If you don’t come back, I’ll leave the stadium and won’t do the show.” 

“Don’t blackmail me like that.” Louis almost gasped. “Don’t be so ridiculous.” 

“I mean it.” 

Louis groaned, he glanced up at Tom who was waiting patiently, smile clear on his face. And he sighed, he should have known today was going far too well. 

“You’re a fucking mennace Harry! I’ll be back soon, I swear to god, if you’re not ready to go on stage by the time I’m there.” 

“Thanks Louis! See you soon.” Harry laughed, ending the call and Louis had decided that when he saw him, he was going to headbut him, on his pretty face. 

Louis dropped his phone to his lap and rubbed his temple, he didn’t need stress today. 

“I take it you’ve got to shoot off?” 

Louis exhaled, lifting his head and reluctantly nodded. 

“It’s okay. We had fun, we can do this again.” 

“Yeah. I’d really like that.” 

“Me too. How about you have one more glass and then we’ll call it a day and plan our next date?” 

“Sounds fabulous.” 

Louis didn’t want to leave Tom, he couldn’t think of anything he’d rather do less than go to the stadium right now. He reconsidered his answer from the night before, he hated his job, especially today. 

They agreed mutually that Louis would get back in touch when they return to LA for a couple of days before flying back to the UK, Louis promised he would text and he almost wished that Tom would have kissed him but instead, he kissed him on the cheek and was as gentlemen like as ever. 

Which irritated Louis even more, he could have spent a few more hours in his company but instead, he was walking through the corridor heading for Harry’s dressing room, ready for war. He made a mental note to discuss his contract with Craig because he’s almost certain that having his day ruined my rockstars wasn’t on the description. 

He grasped onto the handle and pushed the door to harry’s dressing room open, he was almost certain that he was going to go in for an argument. But instead, he found Harry sat, dressed ready for his show with Niall sat on the sofa opposite - an episode breaking bad playing on the TV, neither seeming drunk, irritated or even slightly confrontational. It was bizarre. 

“Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” Louis belted. 

Harry turned at that point, looking over his shoulder at Louis with a smile. “Oh, Hey Lou.” 

‘Lou’ wasn’t what he usually called him, Louis ignored the feeling it gave him. He wasn’t his friend today. 

“You dragged me from my date to watch you watch TV?” 

“Not exactly…” Harry drawled off, turning his head back to the show. 

“He was having a breakdown.” Niall announced. “He kept asking for you over and over and over, so we let him call you. The only reason he’s okay is because he knew you were coming. He was a fucking nightmare.” 

Louis frowned, walking into the room reluctantly. “Doesn’t look like he was having a breakdown to me.” 

“That’ll be because he took a shower, cleaned himself up and got ready for the show… because you told him to.” 

“What was wrong with you?” Louis asked, giving up on attempting an argument at this point. 

“Upset.” Harry stated. Back to the one word answers. 

Louis walked around the sofa and sat himself down at the end of Harry’s one, he lifted Harry’s legs so he could squeeze in and let them fall back on him. 

“He was upset because you weren’t here - we were out today, he decided it would be a good idea to go to some sleazy club all day. Got into an argument with some ignorant prick and wanted to come here to see you. So you can imagine how distraught he was that you weren’t there.” 

“Dramatic.” Louis huffed. “I was out.” 

“On your date.” Harry scoffed. “How was it? He’s a boring bastard, isn’t he? I probably saved you from it.” 

“No, actually you’re wrong. He was lovely, I had a really nice time and I’ll be seeing him again.” 

“Why?” 

Louis scoweld. “Because I like him? Stupid question.” 

“It won’t last. You live in the UK, he lives here and is a really successful actor.” 

“Whatever, Harry. No one asked.” 

“Just saying. I saved you from a bunch of disappointment really.” 

“Ignore him.” Niall said, lifting himself up in his seat. “He gets like this when I meet people. Tells me it’ll be doomed, goes on and on about how it’s stupid, how they’re bad for me. He just doesn’t like anyone finding love, thinks it’s pointless.” 

“I’m not wrong. I’ve not been wrong about any of the girls you dated.” Harry challenged. 

“Yes, because you slept with two of them prove a point.” 

“I proved it, didn’t I? They were using you to get to me!”

“That’s awful Harry!” Louis said, smacking his leg. 

“Why meet people when you can stay single and enjoy life? Without being stuck with some boring bastard who will make you tea in the morning and cheat on you on weekends with his PA.” 

“Bit specific.” 

“He watches a lot of movies.” Niall shrugged. 

“Typical.” 

Harry sighed, leaning his head back on the arm of the sofa. “I’m bored.” 

“Yeah well, you’re not doing anything. You’re on stage in an hour.” Louis stated, glancing up at the clock. Fully aware that he should be out front sorting shit out but instead was being the leg rest to Harry Styles. 

“I’m going to get a hot dog.” Niall announced. “The ones at the stand are way better than the ones your chef makes.” 

“Pig.” Harry remarked. 

Niall stuck his middle finger up at him as he got up. “Louis, want anything?” 

“No, I’m good thanks. Not long just eaten.” 

“Your loss.” 

Louis laughed, watching Niall saunter out of the room while singing a song about hot dogs like the weird boy he was. No wonder he and Harry were friends. 

He lent his head back, eyes turning to the TV, noting the subtitles yes quiet volume. He shouldn’t have been surprised really, of course Harry was weird even when watching things. It made sense. 

He took in the few moments of silence, marvelling in it, but his mind was loud. He focused on the fact that Harry had needed him earlier with little to no explanation and of course, he couldn’t just let that go. 

He turned his head to the side, eyes on Harry who’s eyes were on the TV. It took a few moments before Harry finally turned to look at him, his eyes furrowed. 

“What are you looking at?” 

“What was wrong? What happened at the bar?” 

“It doesn’t matter now.” 

“Yes it does. You were clearly upset. Tell me” 

Harry seemed to battle himself, he glanced at the TV for just a millisecond before a deep sigh escaped him. “I was tipsy, dancing on the bar top with some bloke who worked there and these men came in. They must have recognised me or somethin’ and well, they came in and were just horrible…” 

“Horrible, how?” 

“Called me a dirty faggot, told me I was ruining their daughters lives parading about like I do on stage, I’m a disgrace to Rock, I’m pretty sure one of them said I was a disgusting pervert too.” 

“That’s disgusting.” Louis huffed, his blood boiling. “Please tell me you didn’t get upset by that?” 

“Well, obviously. I’m not immune to feelings Lou, I know when someone’s being nasty to me. I was okay, I was leaving and then one of them grabbed me on my way out and told me that in their country, faggots like me get a beating. I had security, so I was fine, just wasn’t the nicest experience” 

“Oh my god, I didn’t realise.” Louis was frantic, his hand fell onto Harry’s ankle, his thumb stroking the bare skin between his trouser leg and sock. “Why didn’t you tell me on the phone? I would have came straight here!” 

Harry’s face deadpanned. “What? Tell you while you’re on a date with a very famous actor? If he would have heard, it could have been front page tomorrow.” 

“He wouldn’t have… it’s not the point, fuck, that’s so fucking horrible Harry. I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” 

“I was drunk, I was just being stupid” Harry shrugged. “I probably shouldn’t have been grinding on a boy.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. You can do whatever the fuck you want, it doesn’t give  _ anyone _ the right to treat you that way Harry.  _ Anyone _ at all. Okay? If that ever happens again, you ring me and I’ll personally go down there and smash their face in.” 

Harry began to laugh and Louis frowned, he couldn’t see the funny side of this at all. “Louis, I appreciate the offer. But you’re tiny, as amusing as it would be, you don’t need to smash anyone’s face in for me.” 

“I’m not tiny.” Louis huffed. “I can be intimidating.” 

That just seemed to set Harry off more in a set of giggles. Louis wanted to smash his face in too. 

“Laugh all you want.” Louis said, leaning his head on his hand.

“You’re funny.” Harry laughter settled. There was a second of silence before he spoke again. “Are you really seeing Tom again?” 

Louis turned back to him. “Yeah, don’t see why not.” 

Harry nodded, eyes still focused on Louis. And Louis couldn’t take his eyes away, focused on the array of green and blue that almost swirled in his eyes. He was looking at Louis like he was waiting for something, trying to figure it out but he didn’t know what. 

Louis finally pulled away “You know, after begging for me today, you can’t be nasty to me ever again.” He said, eyes on the TV. 

“I don’t think that’s quite right. I wasn’t begging.” 

“Whatever you say, big boy. Carry on the way you’re going and people will start to think you have a heart.” 

“God, you’re annoying.” 

The show went smoothly, Louis would like to believe it was because of him. But, it was unlikely. 

They were touring the US at the moment, it was a weird set up for a tour. They did the whole of the UK tour except Manchester which they’ll be ending with and at the moment, they’re touring random cities across the UK and then heading to Mexico, returning back to finish the US. Whoever made the plan for this tour was clearly high because it made no sense. 

The US leg of the tour was a weird one. 

Mainly due to Harry - who was acting more crazy than ever. Louis had turned up to work on more than the odd occasion to find Harry in compromising positions with a bunch of different men and women, it was like he was on a sex drive, it seemed to be the only thing on his mind. When questioned, Harry wouldn’t remember it, not a single thing - something to do with the severity of alcohol he was indulging in at the minute. Louis had distanced himself a bit, after telling Craig on more than one occasion that stopping Harry from hurting himself or others wasn’t in his contract and he was right, which meant the babysitting jobs become less and less. Management had hired actual bodyguards for him instead, those that followed him all day long and all night - Harry hated it. 

There was the one time in San Francisco where Louis was called to help. It was a weird night. 

It was three in the morning, Louis had been fast asleep in his bunk in the tour bus when Craig had woke him, begging him to wake up, telling him it was ‘urgent’. 

He was dragged from his bunk, out of the bus in a pair of plaid pyjamas bottoms and a huge hoodie which he pulled onto his head. He was tired, cold and confused. He knew what was going on when he was dragged into a nearby hotel, the one Harry had insisted to stay in. 

He had no idea what was going on or what was so urgent in three in the morning, but when they stepped out onto Harry’s floor, it was obvious. 

Louis’ heart dropped when he heard the shouting. 

“I fucking hate it.” The scream echoed through the hallway, heard from the other side all the way from Harry’s room. 

A few crashes, banging and swear words fell after it. 

“Woah. What the fuck is going?” Louis asked as they neared the door, security stood outside. 

“He’s refusing to come out. Refusing to let us in. He’ll only talk to you.” Paul, the head of security spoke. 

Louis winced as he heard the crash from the other side of the room. “What the fuck is he doing?” 

“Pretty sure he’s breaking literally everything.” 

He sighed, head dropping back. He was too tired. He stepped forward, nodding for Paul to move out of the way. He hesitantly knocked the door. 

“I told you to fuck off.” 

He knocked again. “Harry, it’s me.” 

The movement stopped. “They’re not allowed in!” 

“No, just me, no one else.” Louis glanced behind and urged for the others to move out of sight, away from the door. “Will you let me in?” 

It was a few moments silence before the door unlocked, Louis watched with weary eyes as the door slowly opened, an inch at a time. Harry didn’t come out, he simply held the door open. 

Louis didn’t particularly want to go in, but still, he did. He stepped through the gap and looked at the room around it, he really had trashed everything in his wake. The mirror had been smashed to pieces, shattered across the floor in bits. Everything that had been placed in the room for him was either completely ruined or hanging from its hinges. 

And then Louis looked up and saw Harry - who was the most broken out of it all, his heart dropped at the sight. 

The dark circles surrounded his eyes, his tear stained cheeks glistening from beneath the light, his hair unruly and unkept like he had been pulling at to quite literally take it from its roots. He was dressed in a shirt and jeans, his usual look but the soft pink silk shirt was now ripped at the seams, he looked broken. 

Louis kicked the door closed behind him. “What’s going on Harry?” His voice soothing. “What’s wrong?” 

“They said I couldn’t…” He croaked, his voice breaking as a single tear fell across his cheek. “I couldn’t.” 

“You couldn’t want Harry? Take your time.” He took a hesitant step forward. 

“I asked for a break. Niall told me, he… he said I needed a break, I need time to sort myself out.” He sniffed. “I’m not allowed one. I’m not allowed one until my contract ends.” 

“When does it end?” 

“Three years.” 

“They can’t… What? They can’t fucking do that.” 

Harry inhaled, his breath shaky. “They can. I signed it, I have no choice.” 

“Oh, Harry.” 

“I can’t do this anymore Lou.” 

And that’s what broke Louis the most - the crack in his voice, the pure and utter desperation in his voice. He wasn’t stood in front of a rockstar, he stood in front of a damaged boy. 

“Come on.” Louis said, reaching out to take Harry’s hand. He was careful not to stand in the glass soaked floor as he guided Harry towards the bed. The younger boy following with no argument. He reached the bed and tapped the cotton material. “Sit.” 

Harry stepped over the broken plant pot on the floor and did as he was told, sitting on the side of the bed, his hand still in Louis’ as he copied his action. 

“I’m sorry you have to go through all of this.” 

Harry sniffed again, a tear escaping, no matter how much he tried to hide it. “I don’t know how I can carry on. I’m so tired Louis, so fucking tired.” He admitted, his voice was hoarse, barely anything left to it. “I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.” 

“I know babe.” Louis sighed, his arm snaked around Harry’s back and pulled him into his side, wrapping the younger boy in his arms. “No one deserves what you go through. No one. Especially you.” 

“I just want to be normal again.” Harry sobbed. “You’re right. I don’t know who I am, I don’t even know what my life is. I’ve been doing everything I’m supposed to for years and I’m just so tired of it.” 

“This is why you drink.” 

“The only time I have to myself is a few hours here and there, the only way I can switch off and pretend I’m happy is drinking, taking, doing anything. I like the feeling of feeling numb, that way I don’t have to think about anything else.” 

“Harry, that’s so sad.” Louis sighed, grasping him tighter. “You’re so young. This just isn’t fair.” 

“I’m… I’m just this robot. I do what I’m told to do, I don’t have any say in my own life, I can’t even date people without management working their way in. I have to be this, this, person! I don’t even know who I used to be.” 

Louis didn’t speak. He let him carry on, it’s the most he had opened up to Louis since they met. 

“I need a break. Away from everything, away from the fans, the music, this life, this image… I just want to be Harry, not Harry Styles anymore. Just me.” 

“You can, one day love. I promise you. It won’t be like this forever.” 

Harry sniffed again and Louis felt the tears fall onto his own skin. “I don’t think I have a choice anymore.” 

Louis hated it. He hated how broken this boy was, he hated how he was treated and he hated everyone that made him feel this way - no one should be made to feel this way, to feel so broken with no way out. 

He just held onto the younger boy, cradling him in his arms, soon they fell back onto the bed, still hooked onto one another and Louis didn’t leave. He lay there, holding onto Harry as he quietly sobbed into his arms, a few comments here and there and he knew that he couldn’t leave him ever again. 

He knew that Harry needed help and he wanted to be the one to help him. He hated it, he got the trait from his mum - but he had to. 

“Please stay tonight.” Harry whispered. 

“I won’t leave you.” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.” And Louis meant it. 

He meant it - obviously he couldn’t stick by Harry’s side for the rest of his life, being his personal shoulder to cry on but he would help as often as he could. 

They arrived into Mexico and they had two days before the show began, it was only one show here much to Harry’s delight, even more so for everyone who travelled there, meaning two days of holiday without a thought of work. 

They had checked into a hotel beachfront location in Riviera Maya, they had travel organised to follow them central location for the show but it was agreed all of them needed some sort of break so a two day beach holiday it was. 

The hotel was beautiful, the Hideaway at Royalton, like nothing Louis had ever stayed in before. Mainly due to the fact it would cost him his entire yearly salary for a weeks stay - luckily, it was coming out of Modest back pocket and not his. 

Louis, Harry, Niall, Craig and Liam who had decided to fly over to spend time with Louis were all currently sat in the cordoned off area that had been arranged for Harry - Adults only, no one else around. It was heaven. The rest of the crew were off on an excursion, diving in the sea. None of them could be bothered.

Liam and Niall were in full conversation by the side of the pool, talking about football. Craig was floating on an inflatable flamingo, sipping his Mojito, living his best life. While Harry and Louis lay on a cabana together. Louis was resting on his stomach, a book in hand, soaking in the sun while Harry hummed from behind him, trying everything to get attention from anyone. 

“What you reading?” 

“I’ve told you five times now. I’m reading escapade!” 

“And I’ve told you, I’ve not heard of it.” 

“Hush.” Louis warned, going back to the sentence he had read at least four times at this point. 

“I’m bored.” 

“Maybe you could try and relax? God knows you need it. Just put my headphones in, close your eyes and chill for once.” 

“I wan coke.” Harry huffed, glancing at Louis’ half empty glass of pina colada. “Can I not even have a drink?” 

“No!” Craig shouted from his floating flamingo. “Strict instructions, remember?” 

“I don’t understand why they’re testing me for drugs and alcohol in my system… they know I do it.” 

“Because of the new rules. If they find drugs in your system they have a right to send you away to a rehab.” 

“That’s fucking insane.” Louis chimed in, turning his book over. “So, even if it was a little weed they’d send him off to be fixed?” 

Harry got an email a week ago, he had managed to sit down with a lawyer within the hour to discuss it and no matter how many lawyers he found, there was no loophole found - he was quite literally trapped. 

So, he was on a detox. He was allowed to drink, but new rules stated that he wasn’t allowed to be seen with a drink in public in the day time. Only in the evening and with supervision - it was baffling how they had managed to rig his contract without Harry even signing it but either way, he was attempting to break it at every given moment. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” Craig nodded. 

“It’ll do you good really.” Louis admitted. “Get rid of all of that shit from your system.” 

“No one asked for your input.” Harry snarled. 

“Don’t get hissy with me just because you’re on a ban. Carry on and I’ll make sure to do a line right in front of you just to rub it in.” 

“You wouldn’t.” Harry’s eyes darted. 

Louis sniggered to himself, turning his book back over. 

It wasn’t that he and Harry were friends, far from it. They tolerated one another, would argue and when Harry needed him to, he would be his shoulder to cry on. It made his job a whole lot easier and along the way he got to be there for someone who needed him. 

He might not like Harry Styles but he was starting to. 

“Talking of alcohol. There’s a beach party tonight, a white party. It’s meant to be amazing. Is Harry allowed to come?” Niall asked, looking at Louis who frowned. 

“I’m not his keeper. It’s Craig you need to ask.” 

“I don’t know.” Craig chimed into the conversation. “There’s a lot of tourists who go, what if he gets into a state and causes trouble? We don’t have the access to media here, if we need damage control, it’s going to be too tricky.” 

“It’s not like I can take anything, I’ll just be drinking. What do you think I’m gonna do? Burn the fucking beach down? There’s water literally there.” 

Louis snorted. “Well, even if he’s not allowed. I’m coming. I could do with a night of not thinking.” 

“Sick. Liam’s coming too.” Niall grinned. 

“Woah, I better be able to fucking go!” Harry shouted. 

Craig took a sip of his drink and pushed his sunglasses down to look at Harry. “You’d go even if I said no.” 

“You better fuckin’ believe it. Get four tickets Niall.” 

“Am I not invited?” Craig pouted. 

“No, you’re old.” Harry stated. 

“He’s got a point.” Niall agreed. “Not your style.” 

“The fucking audacity.” 

Louis smiled, he closed his book again and inhaled. He turned his entire body to his back, laying back with his sunglasses over his eyes. He felt the sun beam down on him and he embraced it, he hadn’t felt this relaxed in such a long time. He closed his eyes and took it. 

“This is amazing.” Louis sighed out, his voice content. 

With that, he felt Harry’s hand on his ankle, his large fingers rubbing up and down. He froze. 

“It’s lovely, isn’t it.” 

He didn’t expect that either. He lifted his head slightly and peered down, seeing Harry, laying back with his head resting against the pillow - affectionately rubbing Louis’ ankle as if it were the most normal thing. He dropped his head back down and inhaled a sharp breath, not quite what he expected. 

“Yeah.” Louis choked out. 

“I hope we can swim in the sea tonight. I love swimming at night, there’s something about it.” 

“Maybe.” Louis hummed, relaxing into it now. It wasn’t a big deal, after all, they fell asleep hugging each other a lot of nights - this was nothing. 

“Louis?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Do you think I could learn Spanish in a day?” 

Louis sighed, the short laugh escaping before he could stop it. “You’re something else.” 

“I’ll be speaking Spanish tonight, watch this space.” 

“Whatever you say, Rockstar.” 

Now, when the four boys arrived at the beach after dinner that evening, they all gave their tickets to enter and Louis could have cried with laughter as Harry said ‘Gracias’ in the most British accent ever. 

It was packed, full of tourists and locals - there was a DJ, campfires were lit, it was surrounded by dancing people, all of which smiling and having the time of their lives. The beach was lit up with fairy lights, it looked amazing. Louis was the first to head for the bar, grabbing one of their ‘extra large beers’ which was pretty much a massive tube full of Larger. At least six pints in one and he loved it. 

“This is sick.” Liam said. “Do you think he’ll let me have a go on the decks?” 

“Please, no.” Louis shook his head, taking a swig of his drink. “There’s some free logs over there, shall we sit?” 

Niall and Harry soon followed as they surround themselves around a campfire, drinks in hand and conversation flowing. Louis was focused on the sea, behind the music, beneath the crowd, you could hear as the ocean crashed up against the shore - Louis had always loved the sound, it was peaceful. He hadn’t heard it for so long, he wanted to breathe it in. 

Possibly the saddest thing to do at a beach party. 

“I’m gonna get shots.” Niall announced, pushing himself up from his log. “We need to liven up a bit. Louis looks like he’s contemplating walking off into the sea.” 

“Hey.” Louis pouted. “I was just admiring the view.” 

“He’s sentimental sometimes. Hard exterior when really he’s the biggest softie you’ll meet.” Liam teased. 

“Whatever.” Louis scoffed, taking another large gulp from his quite frankly - ridiculously large drink. 

“He’s small, too.” Harry chimed in. 

“Shut it, Styles.” 

“What? It’s the truth! I’m stating facts!” 

“You’re being a dick…” he trailed off as he felt his phone begin to vibrate in his pocket. 

He pulled his phone out and glanced at the screen, he bit back a smile as he jumped up out of his seat. “Be back in a minute.” 

He traced along the sand, out of earshot of his friends and Harry and accepted the call. 

“Louis Tomlinson speaking.” 

“The famous Louis Tomlinson. What a pleasure!” 

“Did you book an appointment for this phone call? I’m a very busy man.” 

“Ah, I may have forgotten to clear it with your PA. Do you think you could spare a few minutes to talk to a charming man?” 

“I suppose I could… But it has to be worth my while.” 

“Of course, expect no less. How are you?” 

“I’m great. How are you?” The facade stopping. 

“Fabulous. Just finished on set for the day and I thought, let’s see what Louis Tomlinson is doing with his crazy life today.” 

“You finished shooting a movie and thought of me? God, how boring is the movie?” 

“Not boring at all, I’ll have you know! So, come on. Where are you in the world? What are you doing?” 

Louis snorted a laugh, glancing back over his shoulder to where the boys were sat. Both Liam and Harry had their eyes on him as they watched with wonder. 

“I’m in Mexico!” 

“Mexico? Oh how jealous I am.” 

“And I’m currently at a beach party with a beer bigger than me, having the time of my life staying at a five star hotel. So, yeah, I’m doing just fine.” 

“Living the dream. Whereas I’m currently sat on my sofa drinking a cup of tea, oh how the other half live.” 

“This is temporary I’m afraid, usually I’m quite boring. My kind of a night out back home is some dangy pub with the lads, trying not to get into a fight.” 

“That honestly sounds just as wonderful. I quite miss the pubs back home, not the same in LA.” 

“It really is another world over in LA.” 

“Talking of which. When are you back?” 

“A few weeks. No confirmed date yet until we know if Harry’s performing on some show. But a few weeks.” 

“I’m not going anywhere so I hope you’ll let me know when you’re back, I’d quite like to see you again soon. I feel as though our date was short lived.” 

Louis watched as Harry stood to his feet and stormed away from the fire, he glanced at Liam and frowned as if to ask ‘what?’. But all he did was shrug. Helpful. 

“Yeah, it really was.” Louis agreed. 

“I won’t keep you from your fun, Louis. Enjoy your evening, get as drunk as you possibly can. Have the best time and let me know you’re safe in the morning, you never know when you’re with Harry what’s going to happen.” 

“You can say that again.” Louis sighed. “Okay, I’ll text you tomorrow. Have a good night.” 

“Bye Louis.” 

He ended the call and shoved his phone back into his front pocket, his expression dropped as he walked back over to Liam, sipping his drink on his way. “I mean, where did he go?” He asked, sitting opposite. 

“I don’t know. He went all weird and quiet when you left and next thing I know he’s stormed off to the bar.” 

“He’s such an odd one. But, never mind! Let’s get absolutely wasted Liam and make continuous mistakes tonight.” 

“Sounds fuckin’ good to me.” 

That’s exactly what they did. For once, Louis was the ridiculously drunk one - he had drank at least four of those pipe beers and had said yes to any shot he was offered and within two hours of them arriving at the party, he was wasted. 

He had left the others to join a bunch of people he now claimed were his friends, they were all dancing on the makeshift dance floor which was made from bamboo sticks. He was holding a bottle of shots that he had somehow acquired and was swaying back and forth to the music like the little drunk hedgehog he was, swallowed up in the crowd of people much taller than him. 

He was dancing with a bloke, who’s name was most definitely either Jack, Josh, Brian or Clay. Definitely one of the four - the two of them had met at the bar and somehow managed to move onto the dance floor together. He hadn’t seen his friends in a while, assuming they had also sauntered off to make new friends too. 

“You’re so adorable.” Jake, Josh, Brian or Clay said, pulling Louis’ closer. “So so adorable.” 

“I’m not adorable. I’m a man.” Louis huffed, pulling himself away. “Why does everyone say that?” 

“You’re just so tiny!” 

“Jesus Christ.” Louis slurred, rolling his eyes as he took another swig from the disgusting shot bottle. “I need a real drink. I’ll be back in one to two minutes.” 

“Hurry back cutie!” Jake, josh, brian or Clay called out, smacking Louis on the arse he walked away. 

If he was sober, he most likely would have turned around and hit him with the bottle he had in his hand but he was too far gone at this point to start a fight, it was a no brainer that he would lose. 

He swayed his way through the crowd of people on the bamboo floor until he reached sandy ground, he sighed dramatically as he escaped and took a deep breath. He furrowed his eyes as he scanned over the crowd, he caught the eyes of Harry and Niall stood by the bar and a smile appeared across his face. 

He stumbled, quite literally, across the beach heading for the bar. Apologising to at least four people for falling right into them as he did - apparently walking drunk on a beach is a task. 

He approached the bar and wrapped his arms around Harry’s back, hugging him from behind. “Hi.” 

He felt Harry’s back as he laughed from in front of him. “What are you doing?” He asked. 

“I fell over so many times.” Louis hiccuped. His grip clearly wasn’t tight enough as Harry swirled his torso around in Louis’ arms so he was facing him. 

“You’re a bit drunk aren’t you?” Harry asked, his face soft as he glanced down at him. He sighed, wrapping his arms around Louis’ back to pull him into him and Louis quite literally melted into it. 

“You smell like a rich person. I like it.” 

“Jesus.” Niall snorted beside him. “I’m going to go and find Liam.” 

“Tell him… Tell him he’s an annoying prick.” Louis slurred. “Oh!” He lifted his head up from Harry’s chest for the last bit. “And that I love him.” 

“Will do mate.” 

Louis kept his grip on Harry, resting his head on his chest and could have quite easily fall asleep right there. If it wasn’t for Harry being the responsible one for once. 

“Come on, you.” Harry eventually said, pulling himself from Louis grip. Although still holding him with a grip on Louis’ arm. “Shall we get you some water?” 

“Water?” Louis gagged. “Why?” 

“To sober you up a bit, then you can carry on.” 

“Fine.” 

“You’re something else when you’ve had a drink.” Harry laughed, throwing his arm around Louis’ shoulder as he whistled to the bloke behind the bar. “Bottle of water, please” 

“Whistling at people is rude.” Louis stated, leaning his elbow on the side of the bar so he could rest his head on the palm of his hand. “He’s not a dog.” 

Harry ignored him, thanking the barman as he grabbed the water, he opened the cap and pushed it into Louis’ direction. “Drink it.” 

Louis frowned at the bottle as if it were an enemy. But, still he took it. “Oh, how the tables have turned.”

“I’m drunk. But remember, I drink every day, so it takes me a little more than a few drinks and a few shots to get me to your level.” Harry reminded him. 

“Are you calling me a lightweight?” Louis challenged. 

Harry snorted. “Silly question.” 

“Whatever.” He said, gulping the water like he needed it to survive. 

“Who were you on the phone to earlier?” Harry asked, dropping his arm from Louis’ shoulders to match his stance, leaning on his hand. 

Louis swallowed and exhaled dramatically. “Tom.” 

“You’re still speaking to him?” 

“Yep.” 

“Why?”

“Weird question. I feel like we’ve already had this conversation before babe.” 

“You’ve got a thing for pet names when talking to me haven’t you? Anyway, I just wonder is all. With this job, you’d probably see him three times a year.” 

“I’m not with him, Harry. He’s not my boyfriend. I’ve met him twice. You don’t need to worry, love.” 

“I’m not worried.” 

“I don’t want a boyfriend anyway.” Louis shrugged. 

“Oh? Why?” 

Louis sighed, lifting himself up from the bar. “Too much hassle, ain’t they? You said it yourself mate, pointless.” 

“Yeah, I guess I did.” Harry nodded, taking a sip from his own drink. 

“Where’s Liam and Niall?” Louis asked, only just remembering that Niall was actually here a second ago. “Jesus, I’m drunk.” 

“God knows. Liam’s probably talking to the DJ and niall’s probably trying to coax him away.” 

Louis nodded, glancing back at Harry, who was as ever staring at him like he was quizzing him on the entire existence of the world - he had such a stare about him. 

“Maybe we should get more shots or…” 

“Let's go swimming.” Harry blurted. 

Louis choked. “You what?” 

“Swimming! Let’s go swimming in the sea?” 

“I’m drunk, I know, but I’m pretty sure that’s dangerous. Like, at night.” 

“Nah” Harry shook his head. “I’ve done it in every country I’ve been to. We’ll be fine. C’mon, let’s go swimming, yeah?” 

Louis stood wide eyed and confused. What a weird change of events, a minute ago he was drunkenly hanging onto Harry for dear life and now he was contemplating swimming in the sea when it was fucking pitch black outside. 

“Fuck it.” Louis shrugged, taking a swig of his water. “Come on then” he said, attempting to turn around and head for the sea but Harry grasped his wrist. 

“No.” Harry shook his head. “Come with me.” 

Harry slipped his hand from Louis’ wrist to his hand, walking him past the bar and along the beach, under the cordoned off area that they were supposed to stay within. Louis didn’t argue, he didn’t have it in him tonight - he let himself be guided along the beach by Harry. It was quiet, once they were away from the madness of it all, finally, all Louis could hear was the waves crashing against the shore and he fucking loved it. 

“I love that sound.” Louis whispered. 

Harry guided him for what felt like forever, when in reality it was nothing more than a five minute walk - they walked underneath what was definitely a type of cove, until they reached this small beach area, almost like a hidden gem. It was pure sand, no sunbed in sight, the sea crashed up against the shore, against the rocks at the side, it was like a little slice of heaven. It was lit up by the moon - like something from a movie. 

“Oh wow.” Louis admired. 

“You all took ages to get ready for dinner so I went on a walk and saw this.” 

“Good find, Styles.” Louis admires, slipping his hand out of Harry’s. He stepped forward, inhaling the fresh sea smell. “Are you sure this is safe rockstar?” 

“Yeah, I got you Lou. I’ve told you that before.” 

“Yeah.” Louis breathes out. He turned round to find Harry already unfastening the buttons on his crystal white shirt. He was about to do something reckless for once. “Please God, don’t let us die, I’ll get blamed for the legendary Harry Styles death.” 

“Idiot.” Harry snorted, dropping his shirt from his shoulders. 

Louis turned back to the sea, he lifted the hem of his T-shirt and pulled the fabric over his skin, he pulled it from his shoulders and let it drop to the floor. It was still hot out, as it always was but the slight crisp air that came from the sea as it crashed up against the shore left tiny goosebumps along Louis’ torso.

He was taking in the view, slowly undoing his jean shorts when he watched Harry run past him, stark bollock naked and dive into the sea. He gasped, mainly due to the secondary pain he felt for Harry’s balls when they crashed against that cold water. 

“You’re fucking insane!” Louis shouted as Harry’s head popped up from the water. 

He rose up in the water in a fit of laughter, his hands flying up to push his hair from his face. “It feels fucking amazing Lou. Come on! It’s not even deep” he said, standing himself up right. “Look, I can touch the floor.” 

“May I remind you that you’re like 8 inches taller than me Harold?” Louis fired back, kicking his shorts from his ankles and into the sand. He wasn’t brave enough to take his boxers off too, the material seemed like a safeguard for his precious gems. 

“Come on, just run in. Don’t hesitate about it.” 

“Ugh.” Louis groaned, he took a few deep breaths as he gazed at Harry in the water. He was running on the spot at this point, pumping himself up. “Shit!” 

He shouted as he ran across the sand and threw himself into the water - the moment his body touched the water, it was like he had been pelted by a gun full of ice cubes, all attacking him at once, he would have screamed if he wasn’t concentrating on holding his breath under the water. He pushed his frame up, his head popping out of the water with a high pitched squeal. 

“Fuck me!” Louis’ voice was high. “That’s fuckin’ cold. I thought this was the Caribbean coast? Why is it cold.” 

“Stop it.” Harry laughed. “Jesus Christ. You’re so dramatic. Relax.” 

“Fucking relax.” Louis muttered, watching Harry as he floated onto his back. 

He inhaled, his little legs kicking about under the water as he attempted to touch the floor. “I’m small.” 

Harry lifted himself straight in the water and snorted a laugh. “You what?” 

“I admit it, I’m small. I can’t touch the ground.” 

“Oh my god.” Harry continued to laugh, standing and watching Louis as he kicked his little legs in the water to stay afloat. “You’re adorable.” 

“Why does everyone keep saying that.” Louis huffed. 

Harry shook his head fondly as he swayed closer to Louis, who was far more focused on staying afloat. Within a few moments, Harry’s large hands snaked around Louis’ back and he was lifting him in the water to rest against Harry’s torso, holding onto him tight. 

“I’ll be your legs.” Harry murmured. 

Louis’ arms instinctively wrapped around Harry’s neck, he was practically hovering over Harry by this point so it was only right. At least he thought so. He ignored his heart racing beneath the water, he ignored the way Harry’s hands felt on his bare back and he ignored how incredibly close they were at this point. 

“Lay back” Harry said and Louis was quick to oblige. 

Harry kept his grip on Louis’ back and let him fall back, his back hitting the water and his arms spreading out beside him. He inhaled, soaking it in. His eyes opened, focusing on the moon that felt like was shining only for them at that very moment. 

“The sky looks beautiful.” Louis admitted, smiling as he lifted himself back up, he hooked his arms back around Harry’s neck and allowed himself to be held close. 

Harry hummed, his thumb stroking Louis’ back beneath the water. “You look quite beautiful tonight.” 

“I bet you say that to all the boys you convince to swim with you in the middle of the night while drunk.” Louis teased, never looking at Harry, avoiding eye contact. 

“Funny. You’re the only one. I usually come alone. Gives me some time alone, to think about things.” 

“And you brought me along for the ride? My treat.” 

“Because I don’t mind being alone with you. I feel quite normal.” Harry admitted, pulling Louis slightly closer as he hitched him up onto his waist. 

“I’m glad you feel normal around me.” Louis agreed. “Even if I still don’t see it a lot of the time.” 

“I’m trying.” Harry whispered. “I really am. I just get these moments in the day where I forget, then my head tells me I need to do something, anything, just to get away from it all. I can’t help it, it’s a vicious circle.” 

Louis finally looked at Harry. “Well, you need to figure out how to stop that and only  _ you _ can do it. You can’t tell me every time you’re drunk that you want out and you want this to stop and then wake up the next day and snort a gram of cocaine Harry.” 

“I know.” Harry admitted, releasing one hand from Louis’ back. He reached it up and swiped the hair away that lay on Louis’ forehead. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologise to me for it, it’s you that…” 

“No I’m sorry, but I’ve been wanting to do this for ages.” 

“What?” Louis frowned. 

He didn’t expect a lot from tonight, maybe a few drinks, stumble back to the hotel and sleep till midday tomorrow and that was about it. What he most certainly did not expect was for Harry Styles to do this. 

Harry’s face was hidden in the shadows, only the smallest features lit up beneath the moonlit sky. And those features being the ones that seemed to dawn down on Louis at that moment. Louis knew what was happening and he knew that if he let this happen, then he would be potentially jeopardising his career and the trust Harry had in. And he knew to Harry, this was nothing, it was just something convenient. 

But, even though he knew that. It didn’t stop him. 

His eyes gazed down at the lips that were now inches from his own, the hot breath escaping from them felt against his own. He inhaled, taking it all in. And then, it was him who finally closed the distance. 

His lips moulding around Harry’s, tasting him, he couldn’t breathe in that moment, he was inhaling the smell, the taste, the experience. It was all so intense. He hummed into the kiss, embracing it as his arms wrapped tighter around Harry’s neck and his hand reached to grasp at Harry’s hair. 

They both separated, heavy breaths beating against one another. “Shit.” Louis exhaled. 

“Oh shit.” Harry agreed and closed the distance again. 

Harry hoisted Louis higher onto his body, his hands now beneath his bum, grasping onto it as he walked them through the ocean. Louis was desperate against Harry’s lips, his tongue exploding the forbidden territory. His lips escaped Harry’s grasp as they made their way across his cheek to his neck, needy kisses against any skin he could find, his hand still exploring Harry’s unruly curls and he was far too into this. 

“Fuckin’ hell.” Harry groaned. 

Suddenly they weren’t in the water anymore. And suddenly Louis was being placed onto the sand, his hands were forced to escape from their grasp on Harry’s hair. His eyes peered up at Harry who was now stood over him, it was embarrassing how needy he was at this very moment - pathetic even. And even more so with how under pressure he felt with Harry’s eyes piercing down onto him. 

Then he was crouching down, his body hovering over Louis’, he rested his elbow beside Louis’ head. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful Louis, I can’t get over it.” 

Louis whined a little, he wanted something, just anything. He would be happy with just a finger on him at this point - he just wanted to be touched. 

Harry sloppily kissed him, like he was trying to figure Louis’ entire life out with his lips, exploring him with his tongue, tasting him and Louis fucking revelled in it. And then he felt Harry’s hand on his stomach, his fingertips tracing over the pearl drop wet skin. And Louis’ tensed. 

Harry’s lips pulled back and he hovered over Louis, breathless as he stared down at the older boy. “I know we’re both into this, but I just feel like I have to ask if it’s okay?” He whispered. 

“God, yes, Harry. Yes” 

“Okay.” Harry nodded, re-attaching his lips. And then his finger tips confidently traced their way from his belly button to the hem of his boxers. 

Louis had no chance to even comprehend the situation, without another thought, Harry’s hand was wrapped around the length of his dick and his head flew back, he didn’t realise how much he needed this. 

Harry’s hand slowly worked its way up and down, while Louis just revelled in the feeling, he was a 26 year old man, falling apart from a man’s hand and he couldn’t control himself. 

“You’re so… fuckin’ hell Louis, like, look at you.” 

Louis whined. “I’m sorry, I just, Ah.” He sighed, he was far too into this. “Let me touch you.” 

“God, Yes.” Harry nodded and Louis’ returned the favour, his hand reaching out to copy Harry’s actions. 

Within moments, they were in rhythm with one another, hands working the other, Harry was slow and was watching louis with intent and everytime Louis felt like he was close, he would move his hand so rapidly up and down the length of Harry’s dick that Harry would moan out against Louis’ ear. 

It was the fucking most sexy thing Louis had ever experienced. Every time he was close, Harry would stop his hand, watching as Louis grew closer and closer and then it would be taken away from him and usually Louis loved it but right now he fucking loved it. 

Harry kissed Louis wherever he could while never stopping his hand, kicking at the gap beneath Louis’ collarbone, kissing every inch of skin, tasting him and it was enough for Louis to cry out. It was so intense. 

“Fuck, Harry. I’m so close.” Louis whined out. 

“I could watch you all night.” Harry hummed. And then he felt similar, he quickened his pace on Louis, it wasn’t what Louis was doing with his hand that was pushing him, it was the way Louis was reacting beneath him. 

Louis knew he was a hot mess, his legs hand moved up so his knees were up and he was lifting his arse off the floor with every tug, feeling it in him as his body reacted to Harry. 

“Harry, Harry, Harry.” Louis chanted out as the feeling grew, then Harry let out a moan against his ear and that was it, he was spilling out all over Harry’s hand and himself and within a second Harry was joining him. 

“Fuck.” Harry swore, his head dropping to rest against Louis shoulders as he fell to his knees. “Oh my god.” 

“Shit. What the fuck.” Louis inhaled. 

Harry sighed, lifting himself from Louis and falling down beside him, laying back in the sand. They both lay beside one another, breathing in sync as they stared up at the sky again - Louis was quite easily the most confused he had ever been, he didn’t really know what had just happened or how it happened but he knew he was embarrassed by how quickly he became putty in Harry Styles hands and how he quickly he had just came. 

“Well.” Louis sighed, that’s when Harry reached his hand out and hooked his pinky through Louis. 

“That was… That, well, that happened.” 

“Yeah.” Louis breathed. “It did.” 

They both lay there in silence, pinky’s locked with one another and Louis couldn’t really digest it all. His head was still fuzzy from the amount of alcohol he had drunk and he most definitely wouldn’t be able to comprehend until he was sober. But, he was fully aware of the fact that he had just jerked off Harry Styles on a public beach and they were now laying half naked on a beach, which was definitely clear. 

“Can we sleep here?” Harry eventually asked. 

Louis tilted his head to look at him, only his eyes visible beneath the moonlit sky. “I’d love to. But I’m cold babe.” 

“Oh shit. Yeah of course” Harry said, snapping out of it. He leans up onto his side, hovering over Louis. “Fine, can I tempt you with a clean towel and sleeping in my bed tonight? No funny business, just, company.” 

“That sounds great. What do we tell the others?” 

Harry shook his head. “We don’t. It’s nice being able to do something without everyone watching over me, why don’t we just act like we’re normal for the rest of the night?” 

Louis smiled fondly. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go watch Netflix in your hotel room until we pass out.” 

“Fabulous.” Harry smiled, craning his down to leave one last gentle peck against Louis’ cold lips. 

They got a few funny looks as they walked back to the hotel, shirtless, soaking wet and visibly drunk. Harry had put Louis’ shirt over his head in an attempt not to be spotted by anyone, they had to walk along the main path to avoid the beach party and their friends. 

Luckily, all the way to the hotel, no one recognised him for who he was - only a few comments about them both looking like psychos but they could deal with that. 

When they reached Harry’s floor, he unlocked his door and stepped aside, letting Louis walk in first. 

He shouldn’t have been surprised to see it really - of course he was lumbered in one of the standard rooms on the bottom floor while Harry had a suite, on the top floor with its own lounge and kitchen - rockstar life. 

“It’s huge, H.” 

“Did you not realise that on the beach? Your hand was quite literally on it.” 

Louis grimaced. “God, you’re like a horny teenager. Now I can see the real you, can’t I!” 

“Caught me.” Harry played along, kicking his door closed. “Come on, let me get you a towel and some clean clothes.” 

Louis nodded, following Harry through the hallway to what was most definitely a king sized bedroom and Louis was practically drooling over the bed at this point. He had never needed sleep more in his life. 

“Here.” 

A towel hit Louis in the torso, apparently that was a feature of the room now too. Louis was happy to see one anyway, his hair had been dripping against his neck. He bent down and rubbed at his mousy locks relentlessly until he was sure that no more water could physically fall from it - he stood up with a sigh. “Woah” he giggled, more dizzy than he expected. 

He stood straight and shuffled his jean shorts from his body, the once white colour now almost sand themselves. He looked up at Harry who stood holding one of his T-shirt’s and a pair of shorts for him. 

“Do you want boxers too?” 

Louis gazed down at his underwear and frowned, they too were also wet. “Please.” 

Harry nodded, placing the clothes on the edge of the bed closest. Louis padded his feet across the marble flooring and reached for the T-shirt, he pulled the material over his head and pulled it down onto his body and he could have laughed when he looked down. 

“Here you… Oh, you really are tiny Lou! It’s like a dress” 

“I’m starting to think I’m too quick to defend my height.” Louis snorted as he dropped his boxers to the floor, using his ankle to kick them beside his shorts. He gracefully accepted the boxers that Harry threw at him. 

“Oh so cozy.” Louis revelled in the feel of the material against his skin as he pulled the boxers to his waist. 

“You look adorable.” Harry smiled, already changed. 

Louis ignored him and made a beeline for the bed, he was so quick about it that Harry didn’t have time to even argue it, he was under the covers, the duvet right up to his neck and he sighed so heavenly. 

“My god, this feels like fucking heaven. Get in and cuddle me.” Louis demanded, pointing at Harry. 

“You’re demanding when you’re drunk.” Harry snorted. 

But he didn’t argue, he slipped himself in beside Louis and nestled himself into the duvet, goosebumps on his skin as he went from cold to hot. 

Louis had goosebumps of his own as he nestled under the cover and felt Harry’s hands snake around his waist, pulling the older boys smaller frame close to him. He rested his head on Louis’ shoulder and kissed the only bit of bare skin showing beneath Harry’s T-shirt. 

“This is it. This is heaven.” Louis said, nestling himself back into Harry’s touch. 

“You’re so lovely.” Harry admired. 

“What’s it with you tonight? Being all nice and shit.” 

“I don’t know.” Harry admitted. “It’s weird, isn’t it? I’m just not angry tonight.” 

“Good, I’m glad” Louis smiled into the duvet. “Can we sleep?” He asked through a yawn. “I’m too tired for Netflix tonight. We can watch it in the morning.” 

“You’re staying till morning?” 

Louis frowned, tilting his head ever so slightly to glance at Harry’s face that was resting on the pillow behind. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I?” 

“I don’t know, I just assumed you’d probably leave before I woke up.” Harry shrugged, pulling Louis closer to his torso. 

“No, Harry. I’m staying here all night, I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

“Okay. That’s nice. Okay.” Harry nodded, as if he was taking it all in. “You can sleep Louis.” 

“Thank fuck.” Louis yawned, turning his head back. He laced his fingers through the hand that resting against his waist and nestled comfortably. 

He had no idea what had happened tonight but he could worry about that tomorrow. Right now, Harry was happy and that was something he had never seen before and he wasn’t about to ruin that. Not now. 


End file.
